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Managing your feelings

feelings; emotions; managing feelings; feeling; anger; safe; jealous. scared ;


Did you know you can manage the way you feel?

Chemicals going into your brain can change the way you feel. See the related topic 'Feelings and emotions' to find out more.

There are different kinds of chemicals. Some are the 'feel bad' kind, but there are others that can make you feel good and happy.

Getting the 'feel good' chemicals working

  • Exercising makes these 'feel good' chemicals head for your brain and you soon start feeling happier. So if you are feeling mad, bad or sad, try going for a walk or a run, dance or skip or play a game.
  • Eating makes 'feel good' chemicals too. Many people go for the chocolate and gooey cakes when they are feeling sad, but if you eat too many 'sometimes' foods, you start to feel guilty (guilt is a negative emotion).
  • listening to musicMusic is great for making 'feel good' chemicals. You can listen to music or make music yourself.
  • Positive thinking - try making a list, either in your mind or write it down, of all the positive things you can think of. Even the tiniest things can start those 'feel good' chemicals working.
  • Looking around you - at natural things like to sky, flowers and birds and think how lucky you are to experience these things.

Give it a go
What if you really tried hard to win a race and you came second, or even last. What good and positive things could you think about?

I asked some children this question, and here are a few of their ideas.

  • At least I had a try.
  • I can always try again next year when I am bigger.
  • I finished the race.
  • I didn’t fall over.
  • I tried really hard.
  • I ran well.
  • I know how I can improve.
  • I like running anyway.
  • It's more fun to be in a race than watching.
  • Lee can run faster than me, but I’m proud that I didn’t give up.

What if you feel angry with someone?

angerLearning ways to control your anger and then using them can make you feel good. 

Learning to stand up for yourself without hurting people feels good too.

What if you feel really scared, or really envious because someone else has something you would like for yourself?

feelingsLearning to face your fears and looking for the positive side of each situation can help you feel more positive. Often talking about how you feel to mum or dad or a friend can help.

Did you know that feeling positive leads to more success and less stress?

Everyone has negative emotions from time to time.

It's OK to feel sad, lonely, angry or any other normal human emotion.

It's not OK to let negative emotions take control of you.

Learn how to be the boss of bad feelings.

Taking charge of your feelings

Tell yourself

  • They are my feelings. I am the boss of them.
  • feelingsIt's OK to feel sad, upset, afraid and angry.
  • Feeling bad doesn't last for ever.
  • I need to think about what I am feeling.
  • I can talk about my feelings instead of keeping them inside me.
  • I know my body. We work together to feel better.

Tell others

  • Talk about your feelings.
  • Tell the other person when you feel upset by something he or she has done or said.
  • feelingsRemember that some people find it hard to talk about feelings.
  • Talking about your feelings may be scary at first, but it gets easier.
  • Talk about your feelings to a trusted adult.
  • Talking with others helps you to take charge of your emotions.
  • Talking with others helps you to solve your problems.
  • Telling others helps you to feel better.

Tell your body

  • Breathe deeply and slowly to give plenty of oxygen to your body so that it will be ready to act.
  • Give yourself time to think about what is happening.
  • Tell that voice in your head how you feel and what you want.
  • Get ready to leave if your body is telling you that you are not safe.
  • Keep talking to trusted people until someone helps.
  • We can work together to keep safe.

Sorting out upsets

  • Think about feeling upset.
    • What happened to you that left you feeling upset?
    • How did you deal with feeling upset last time?
    • Did it work?
  • If you said no to the last question then think about how you could deal with being upset this time.
  • Remember, you are choosing to feel upset so you can choose to feel better.
  • Sometimes you feel upset because you did something wrong or you upset someone. Our topic I'm sorry may help with this.

Dr Kate says:

Dr KateIf you are not feeling safe, or are feeling scared  you need to get help. Talk to your trusted adults, look at our topic on 'Keeping yourself safe' or ring Kid's Helpline (1800 55 1800) if you or others in your family are being hurt. You have the right to feel safe at all times.

You can change your feelings or the feelings of others like these children did.

Kai made someone feel proud when he said, "I like your drawing, you are good at drawing."

Sophie made someone feel better when she said, "I think you will do well in the test."

feeling goodI made someone feel good when I told him that he is my friend.

Sophia feels good when she is kind and helps someone.

Lawson feels good when he says something positive to someone, and that person feels good too.

Laura felt good when she told someone how good her basketball shot was.

Ben felt good when he split up a fight.

Peter felt good when he got a higher score in the weekly spelling test.

We can all help ourselves feel better when we haven't done well at something by saying 'I can't do this well.....YET'. Then we need to practise until we are as good as we can be. Then we can feel proud that we have done our best.

What have you done today to make yourself and others feel good?

ind people who are kind.
Express your feelings to people you trust.
Excellent work gives you a nice feeling about yourself.
Lonely is not a nice feeling to have.
Ill is how you can feel when something bad happens.
No-one likes to be left out or teased.
Good is how you should feel about yourself.
Sad is a feeling that no-one likes, so try to be happy and make others happy too.


I am happy
I've got a smile.
I will keep it for a while.
Being happy is the best,
It doesn't go east
It doesn't go west.
Turn the corners on the smile.
Keep on doing it
For a while.

By James

Managing your feelings

Others can't make you feel angry or sad.
Others can't make you feel lonely or glad.
These are the feelings that you choose to have.

If things go wrong
Be sure that you say,
"I may not feel great now but this feeling won't stay."

And if you find that you're taking the blame
For problems and feelings that others may claim,
These are the feelings that they choose to have.

If you act to others
As if they were you,
Then you will feel happy and they will too.


If you feel worried, or scared or unhappy, you can talk to someone on the Kid's Helpline. Call 1800 55 1800.

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We've provided this information to help you to understand important things about staying healthy and happy. However, if you feel sick or unhappy, it is important to tell your mum or dad, a teacher or another grown-up.


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