Child abuse
abuse; hurt; neglect; violence; sexual; sexually; abused;
Contents
Many children and young people are being abused by people who are close to them, including their parents or care-givers.
- They may be being hurt physically – perhaps by being hit, shaken or burnt or by suffering other ways of causing pain.
- They may be being abused emotionally when there is yelling, threats, anger, put-downs.
- There may be abuse where a child or young person is neglected - when they don't have adequate food, housing, clothes, medical care, or supervision.
- Emotional neglect happens when a parent or care-giver doesn't provide enough emotional support or deliberately pays very little or no attention to a child. But it's not neglect if a parent or care-giver doesn't give a kid everything he or she wants.
- Many young people are sexually abused – there is much more about this in the topic 'Surviving sexual abuse'.
Children and young people may witness their parent being the victim of violence or verbal cruelty. Violence within a family harms children even if they are not being physically hurt. Every family experiences some anger and kids are often punished (sent to their room, denied privileges such as watching TV), but abuse is when someone is repeatedly and seriously hurt physically or emotionally.
Recognising abuse
Children and young people sometimes have trouble recognising that they are being abused, particularly if it has been going on for a long time. This may be what always happens in their family and they may not know that life does not have to be like this.
They may even think that they deserve to be hurt or severely punished because they have done something 'wrong' or they 'asked for it'.
Why does abuse happen?
There are many reasons that make it more likely that one person will abuse another person, but it is not the fault of the person being hurt.
People who abuse others often have grown up in a family where abuse was 'normal'. They may not have learnt any other ways of managing their anger or coping with stressful situations such as relationship problems. Drinking or using drugs can mean that they are less able to control their behaviour. But abuse is never the fault of the person who is being abused, no matter how much the abuser tries to blame others.
Not every person who has grown up with abuse will hurt others. People can learn to manage anger in safer ways.
What are the effects of abuse?
It's normal for people who have been abused to feel upset, angry, and confused about what happened to them.
- They may feel guilty and embarrassed and blame themselves.
- They often have trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. They may not do well at school because they are angry or frightened, or because they can't concentrate or don't care.
- Many people who are abused distrust others. They may feel a lot of anger toward other people and themselves, and it can be hard to make friends.
- Abuse may lead to depression and some young people may harm themselves and may even attempt suicide.
The effects of child abuse often persist into adult life. For more information have a look at the ASCA website (below).
Getting help
People who are abused may have trouble asking for help because it means they'd be reporting on someone they love who is awful to them only some of the time.
They may fear what the person who abused them may do to them, or to other people. They may believe that others will not believe them.
But keeping the abuse secret often means that it will continue.
If you or anyone you know is being abused, talk to someone you or your friend can trust — a family member, a trusted teacher, a doctor, or a school counsellor or the parent of a friend. Teachers and counsellors have training in how to recognize and report abuse, and how to support children and young people.
- In South Australia you could call the Child Abuse Report Line 13 14 78.
- In Australia you could call the Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800.
http://www.kidshelp.com.au/
Working with a counsellor is one way to sort through the complicated feelings and reactions that being abused creates, and the process can help to rebuild feelings of safety, confidence, and self-esteem.
These sites may also help you or your friend to work out what you can do.
Adult survivors of child abuse (ASCA)
http://www.asca.org.au/
Kidshealth.org 'Abuse' http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/family_abuse.html
Department of Families and Communities (South Australia)
http://familiesandcommunities.sa.gov.au/Default.aspx?tabid=607
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).