Cyber bullying
cyber; cyberbulling; bullying; bullies; bully; harassment; mobile; phones; cell; internet; web; sites;
Contents
What is cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying uses technology to harass, embarrass or threaten to hurt someone physically.
This may be done by using:
- Mobile phones.
- Text messages, pictures and video clips can be sent to you and all your friends very quickly and the sender's number can be withheld so that you don't know who is sending them.
- Internet.
- Emails can be sent from an address which doesn't give the real name of the sender.
- They can be messages, threats, nasty rumours and lies about you. They may be embarrassing pictures that someone took on their phone/camera without your knowing, eg in the change room at the pool, at a party or when you thought you were having a private moment.
- The bully may even hack into your email contact list so that they can send details of your embarrassment to all your contacts.
- Web sites exist where you can talk about anything, post pictures and ask for comments.
- Some cyberbullies use these to embarrass or hurt their victims.
- Or someone could set up a website, post embarrassing stuff about someone and send the url to others for their comments etc.
- You may have no idea this is happening until you find out from a 'friend' - that is a real friend, (or it may be the bully wanting to get an instant reaction from you.)
So how can you keep yourself safe?
Internet
If you want to join a social network like MySpace, Facebook or Xanga then there are some things you need to do to protect yourself.
- Put everything behind password protected walls where only people you invite can see.
- Never give your password to anyone!
- Only allow people who are your real friends onto your friends list.
- Morph or blur any photos of yourself so that cyberbullies or would be predators can't use them or parts of them to embarrass you.
- Don't post anything which could be used to embarrass you or that you wouldn't like someone you really respect to see.
- Don't do anything or say anything online that you wouldn't normally do or say offline.
- Protect your friends' privacy by not posting anything about them without their permission. Insist on them protecting your privacy too.
- Check your friends' comments and pics to make sure they are protecting your privacy and not opening you up to cyberbullying. They may not be as careful as you about protecting their safety and this could put you all at risk of predators.
- Be aware that predators disguise themselves. The cool young friend you have made on line could be very a very different from what you think!
Email
Email is a great way to keep in touch with friends but remember that sharing emails around a group can lead to problems.
- Don't give out your email address to people you don't know.
- Ask friends to delete your name if they want to pass a message to someone else in their group.
- Change your password often to protect yourself and your contact list.
- Don't forward emails without deleting the name of the person who sent it to you. You can cut and paste the info to a new page if you can't delete the address of the person who sent it to you.
- Don't forward messages without the sender's permission.
- If you want to send a message to many people you can use the "Bcc" field to ensure that the only address the receiver sees is their own.
- Most security warnings about viruses are just hoaxes. But don't pass any on to others as you may be passing on problems for them and yourself.
- If you don't know the sender of an email, then don't open it!
Mobile phones
Mobile or cell phones are becoming so amazing that you can do just about anything you need to on a phone. Unfortunately cyberbullies have found them a great way to hurt or embarrass others.
So what can you do?
Don't give out your number to people you don't know. Ask friends never to pass on your number without checking with you first.
- Don't leave your phone around so that others could see your number.
- Maybe use caller ID blocking if you are making a call to someone you are not sure of.
- If you are bullied in this way then don't respond to their call. Bullies like to see what effect they are having and will be inclined to stop if they're not getting their kicks.
- Keep any insulting or threatening sms by saving them on your phone with the time and date then showing them to a trusted adult. If messages continue then go to the Police. They can find out the identity of the bully and will take action. It is against the law to use a mobile phone to harass or threaten someone.
- If an unknown number comes up on your phone then answer without using your name in case it is a 'would- be bully' checking out they've got the right person. If it's a friend who has changed their number from the one on your contact list then you'll recognize their voice anyway.
- Use your number only on your voicemail for the same reason.
- If bullying continues try turning off your phone or reporting it to your network provider. They will probably advise you to change your number and this may be a good idea and give you the chance to check all your contacts and start again with a list of close friends and family.
Effects of cyberbullying
Surveys have shown that cyberbullying is on the increase. They have shown that around 50% of young teenagers have endured instances of cyberbullying.
Any kind of bullying has an effect on the victim and the bully. The victim may feel unsafe, threatened, become depressed, withdraw from others and even seek to harm himself/herself.
Young people do have a tradition of teasing friends and kidding around but cyberbullying is not fun, it is something friends should not do to each other and the consequences can be very serious, including suicide of the victim.
What if you're a victim?
It is important that you tell and keep on telling until something is done about it.
- Tell your parents or caregivers.
- Tell a teacher or counselor at school if you suspect it is someone there. Every school has strategies for dealing with bullying, even cyberbullying. Bullies rely on their victims not speaking up so don't give them that satisfaction.
- As with other types of bullying it is a good idea not to show that you are upset by firing back in the same way.
- Don't become a cyberbully yourself.
- If you can't find someone to talk to about how you are feeling you can ring Kids Helpline - telephone 1800 55 1800: if you live in Australia
http://www.kidshelp.com.au
If you live in South Australia you can call our Youth Healthline 1300 13 17 19.
http://www.cyh.com/SubContent.aspx?p=187 :
If you are being harassed
If you're being harassed in this way here are some tips to help you deal with how you are feeling.
- Remember, it is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you. The behaviour of bullies is not OK. It is their responsibility.
- Tell yourself positive things about yourself every day, several times a day.
- Talk about it with friends who would be able to support you through a difficult time.
- Concentrate on positive things in your life.
- Do things that make you feel good.
- Build regular fun activities into your life.
- Do things that you know you're good at.
- Find new interests (they don't have to be expensive).
- Look at our topics about harassment they may help you.
If you know someone who is being cyberbullied then help her to get help. No-one should be made to feel threatened in this cowardly way.
Things you should know if you are a cyberbully
Have a look at this website and read some of the stories about cyberbullying then ask yourself some questions.
http://www.bullyingnoway.com.au
- Why am I behaving like this?
- Is this respecting others or showing respect for myself?
- What would I feel like if someone were doing this to me or my friend?
- Is this the way to sort out problems?
- What if everyone behaved like this, what would happen?
- How will I feel if everyone finds out I have been bullying people in this way?
Then stop being a bully!
Resources
Reference
Muscari M 'How can I help teens who are victims of cyberbullying' Medscape, September 2008.
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).