Safer sex
safe; sex; safe; sexual; intercourse; sexually; transmitted; infections; STIs; STDs; contraception; condoms; unsafe;
Contents
If you're sexually active or thinking about having sex, it's important to have information that will help you make the right choices. Many young people know that if they are ready for sex and are considering having sex, it's really important to make sure it is safer sex.
Important:
In South Australia, if you are 17 or over, you can have sex with another person:
- as long as that person is also 17 or over,
- and he or she agrees to have sex with you.
The law is the same for heterosexual sex (ie. sex between two people of the opposite sex) and homosexual sex (ie. sex between two people of the same sex).
- It is not an offence to have sex with someone who is under 17 if you are legally married to that person.
- If you are under 18, it is against the law for a person in a position of 'care and authority' (for example, a teacher) to have sex, or to try to have sex with you.
Why safer sex?
Safer sex means sexual contact that:
- reduces the risk of passing on any infections
- reduces the risk of an unwanted pregnancy
- is safe emotionally
- is consented to and is respectful.
Unsafe sex is sex that allows sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to be passed on to another person, or that could result in an unwanted pregnancy.
If you check out some of the topics on STIs in the Sexual health section on the Young Adult site, you'll see many reasons to think about safer sex.
What is safer sex?
- Safer sex means sexual contact that does not involve any exchange of blood, semen or vaginal fluids from one person to another.
- It means being safer from STIs and safer from unwanted pregnancy.
- It means covering up parts of the body that could be infectious.
- It also means that sexual contact happens in a caring and respectful way, that it is consented to, and that no one feels pressured or forced into sexual contact.
- Safer activities can include kissing, touching, cuddling and using condoms for sexual intercourse.
We say safer sex rather than safe sex because sex can't be guaranteed 100% safe. The best way to have safe sex is to be in a monogamous relationship (neither of you have other sexual partners), where neither of you has sex outside that relationship and where you are both free of any sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.
Some people say the only form of safe sex is to abstain totally (not have sex at all).
Even when using condoms for protection, or when you only get into safer sex activities, STIs can still be passed on.
- Genital warts, genital herpes and other STIs can be passed on during protected sex (sex with a condom) because the condom does not always cover the affected area.
- Scabies or pubic lice can be passed on just by very close contact.
A person who has had an STI should not have sex until given the all clear from the doctor.
Safer sex activities
Some safer sexual activities
- where there is no exchange of body fluids:
- massage, hugging, touching
- masturbation
- social kissing (kissing with closed mouth)
- rubbing against each other
- fantasy (just thinking about sex)
- kissing the body (clean skin; not sexual areas or open sores)
- saying no to anything you don't feel comfortable about.
It is often assumed that these kinds of activities are only a lead-up to sexual intercourse - but many people find that these safer forms of sexual activity are more than enough to express their emotions and their love for each other.
Some probably safer sexual activities
- where there is not likely to be an exchange of body fluids:
- french kissing (open mouth, as long as there are no sores and as long as the kiss isn't so hard it draws blood)
- sex with a latex barrier (condom).
Some definitely not safe sexual activities:
- Anything that allows blood contact
- Sex without a condom
- Using condoms that have been used before - if the condom breaks it is not safer sex - and there is a risk of pregnancy if the woman is not using a contraceptive
Negotiating safer sex
Starting a conversation with a partner (or potential partner) about safer sex isn't easy for men or women.
- It is often difficult to be assertive when negotiating safer sex.
- You might worry about your partner's reaction.
- You might worry about not knowing how to use a condom.
- Many cultures don't speak openly about sex, and this can make it difficult because we're just not used to talking about it.
- Men and women are often brought up differently. Men may have been taught to be more dominant and women taught to be more passive - this can sometimes make it hard for women to take the lead.
None of these reasons mean that you should take a chance with unsafe sex. The risks of starting a new life (pregnancy), the risk of ending a life (HIV/AIDS) or getting STIs, don't go away just because it's hard to bring up the subject.
When you bring the subject up, it's pretty likely you'll find that the other person has been wanting to bring the subject up too and feels just as unsure and awkward about it. It shows that you respect yourself and it shows that you respect your partner when you ask about safer sex.
For more ideas about negotiating safer sex, have a look at the topic Safer sex on the Young Adult section of this site.
Josh says:
“Once you hit puberty you start to have sexual feelings. Hey, it’s normal! It’s also normal to want to try them out! This is not something you should rush into without doing a whole lot of thinking first.
Safer sex is not just about wearing a condom - it’s also about sharing your body with another person and keeping yourself safe physically and emotionally.
Before you leap into it, check out our topic on ‘Are you ready for sex’. If you decide that you are, then make sure that you are very prepared by looking at the Young Adult site where the topic on ‘Safer sex’ can help you to make good choices”.
Resources in
South Australia
- The Second Story Youth Health Service (TSS):
- Youth Healthline: 1300 13 17 19
- Shine SA
http://www.shinesa.org.au
Sexual Healthline 9am to 1pm Monday to Friday
– telephone 1300 883 793, country callers 1800 188 171
- Clinic 275 (the Sexually Transmitted Diseases clinic)
– telephone (08) 8226 6025, country callers 1800 806 490
http://www.stdservices.on.net/
- AIDS Council of SA (ACSA) – telephone (08) 8362 1611
http://www.acsa.org.au/
- Shopfront Primary Health Care Service, Salisbury
- telephone (08) 8281 1775
- Your local community health centre - check in your phone book
- Your family doctor - doctors are required to keep anything you tell them confidential, but if you feel embarrassed, you could see another doctor at the same clinic or try another doctor.
Many of these places have free services, but you might be asked to contribute towards treatment if needed. Ask about costs when you make the appointment.
Australia
References
ShineSA - ‘Safer Sex’: http://www.shinesa.org.au
STD Services - ‘Safe sex and condoms’: http://www.stdservices.on.net/
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).