Peer pressure
peer; pressure; friend; youth; groups;
Contents
Everybody, no matter how old, faces the pressure to 'fit in'. Young people often feel this the most because they are trying to find their place in the world and the media targets a lot of messages at them. Friends can sometimes put pressure on young people too - pressure to talk, dress and act a certain way.
What it is
Peer groups are people who you hang out with that are about your age. They can be people you think are cool or people similar to you in age and ability. They can be people you know or people you see on TV, in movies, in bands or around the place.
Peer pressure is when you feel you 'have to' do something that you might not usually choose to do. It is when you choose to do this to fit in with your peers.
This might be:
- people try to persuade you to do something - "come on don't be weak", "you're a chicken" "you're frigid"…
- being expected to look or be a certain way to "fit in" - you might try to wear the right clothes or do things so you don't get teased.
Peer pressure can be pretty sneaky. Sometimes we don't even know it's happening or that we are choosing to do things because of it. Sometimes people might use the fact they know you want to fit in to make you do things you don't want to.
Positive peer pressure
To many people's amazement, peer pressure is not all doom and gloom. It can actually be a really positive influence in your life. It can be a way to:
- get to know your limits and what you are willing to accept
- improve your ability to make your own choices
- understand who you are as a unique and special individual - you are like no other!
- introduce you to positive things like interests, music, friends…
Your friends and peer group can offer you lots of things like:
- feeling like you belong and are valued for who you are
- increased confidence and a sense of security because you know your friends understand what is going on for you
- a safe place to take positive risks, to test out ideas
- a way to get to know other people and what they think about things
- learning to negotiate, accept and get along with others.
Negative peer pressures
Everyone has pressures to 'fit in' no matter what their age. Some people might feel it more than others. You might feel it more in some situations than others.
Peer pressure can be a stronger force when you are young because the last thing you want is to be left out of things. This can mean making choices that you don't really want to or that are unsafe.
Here are some examples.
- Having the right look - this might contribute to fights with your parents, not having money to do things you like to do, or even doing things like stealing to get the gear you think you need.
- Trying smokes, alcohol, dope or other stuff - these are not so good for your health and can lead to accidents, fights, trouble with the police.
- Missing school - this can lead to trouble at school, the police, with your parents and maybe with other friends too.
- Teasing or hurting other people - you can end up feeling bad about this, not to mention the person who is the target!
- Dieting or body building - trying to be 'thin' or 'muscular' to get people to like you doesn't work and can actually harm your body. Check out our topic Body image to learn more.
These are just some examples of the pressures and life choices that you and your friends might face everyday.
Dealing with it
How you deal with peer pressures can be different for everyone. There are a few things you might do.
- Most importantly be true to yourself. Make your own choices. Get to know who you are and what is good for you and your life. Our Self-esteem topic can help with some tips, and see the other related topics section below.
- Think about what someone gets out of pressuring you to do something. Is this really for your benefit or for theirs? What do they get out of forcing you to do something you don't want to? Do you want to be controlled by someone?
- Think about what you are getting out of the choices you are making. What would you like for yourself in the future? How are the choices you are making now going to help or hinder your ability to achieve these goals? What might you do to get there in the most successful way you can?
- Learning skills like assertiveness can help, check out our topic Assertiveness. This can mean using 'I' messages like, "I think…", "I feel…", "I will…", "I want…".
- If someone is pressuring you to do something you don't want to, talk to someone you know will listen and help you. Keeping it inside and carrying your worries around can make things even harder to deal with.
- Find things you are interested in. Hang out with a range of different people and listen to what is important to them. There is no one way of doing or viewing things. Think about what is most important to you and who you are as an individual!
- Hangout with different groups. Don't limit yourself.
- Think about where your peers get their messages about how to act and look. Is it from the TV or magazines? Check out our topic Media pressure to learn more.
- Learn from your mistakes and learn from your peers - their successes and their mistakes. This can help you make positive choices about your life.
Resources
South Australia
- The Second Story Youth Health Service (TSS)
- Central: 57 Hyde St, Adelaide
- South: 50a Beach Rd, Christies Beach
- North: 6 Gillingham Rd, Elizabeth
- West: 51 Bower St, Woodville
Contact TSS via the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19,
or for mobile phone callers (08) 8303 1691 - normal rates apply.
- Kids Helpline - Ph. 1800 55 1800.
- Your local Community Health Centre.
- Your school counsellor.
- QUIT Helpline 131 848
The Second Story Youth Health Service teamed up with Mission Australia in 2006 to bring together young people from five high schools in the South of Adelaide. Two thirty second community service announcement advertisements were produced for the Get Reel competition. You can download them from our Resources>Videos page.
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).