Holiday stress
Christmas coping; counsellor; cousins; exercise; food; decorations; drinking;festivities; holidays; indulge; money; music; organized; presents; pressure;relative; relax; rellies; sleep; stress; TV; volunteering;
Contents
The decorations are going up. Everyone is talking about presents and what they will be doing for the holidays. It's that time again.
Christmas and holiday times are traditionally about having fun and spending time with your loved ones, but with this comes many pressures and STRESS! What presents are you going to buy, how are you going to deal with the cousins visiting, where are you going to put all the extra food you will probably eat?
If you are going though a hard time, holidays can be a time when you try to put on a brave face, but inside you feel just as you always did, or worse. Lets look at what the holidays are really like and see if we can come up with some ways to get through the silly season.
What changes during the holidays?
When the holiday periods rock around, things begin to change. Music in the shops change from the radio to the same Christmas jingles over and over. Decorations go up all over the place. People start saying things like, "Merry Christmas", to you in the street. TV shows change to the holiday specials, and movies like "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory", or "It's a Wonderful Life", pop up yet again. Things seem to change at a superficial level and sometimes people expect you to change along with this. But what has really changed in your life? Problems you experienced before the holidays will not magically disappear just because the Christmas tree is up.
The holidays are there to be enjoyed, but you also need to be realistic and true to yourself. Keeping up your regular routine is very important during this period. Don't get caught up in the "holiday cheer" and ignore the things you should be doing.
How to keep your head
- Don't use the holidays as an excuse to over eat. It can be very tempting to get stuck into all the food that usually gets cooked during holiday times. Enjoy the food but try and keep a balance. If you eat too much at lunch, try to have a healthy meal at dinner. We all know what happens if we over indulge during the holidays. Low energy, bad head and a big belly.
- Don't use the holidays as an excuse to drink. It can also be tempting to have a few sly drinks when the adults are not watching, or with friends in the evening. If your friends are all doing it the pressure can also mount up. Just because everyone else is losing their heads, doesn't mean you should also. Try to be around people who are keeping themselves busy. Play some sports or board games rather than giving into the bad habits, such as drinking.
- Exercise. If you play sports, ride your bike or enjoy jogging, keep it up. If you are not normally active, this may be the time to get out there and try some physical exercise. You will be able to burn off the extra kilos, feel better and have some time out from the family. Check out our topic Exercise.
- Try to get enough sleep. Being stressed around this time will be more severe if you are tired. Maybe you could sneak off for a siesta (afternoon nap) every now and then.
Here come the rellies
Holidays are a time for coming together with family and friends. The house fills up and the noise levels rise. This can be great fun, but it can also be a bit too much to handle. There is also the problem of family feuds. Some family members just don't seem to be able to get on. Just because it's the holidays, doesn't mean their differences will melt away. What can you do when it all gets a bit much?
- Calm it down a little. Sometimes things can move so fast during the holidays. Everyone wants to catch up with you, little jobs like peeling spuds keep arising, the little ones want to play with you and everywhere you turn there are people. Find some time for yourself every day. Get yourself into a quiet room and have some time to relax. Deep breathing, stretching or even meditation, are good ways to recharge your tolerance. Read a book/magazine or listen to music. Going for a walk or doing some exercise can also get you away for a bit and allow you some space.
- Pick who you talk to. Do things with the people you feel most comfortable around. Going for a long walk with a favourite relative will help you to get away and spend time with the person you would most like to. Just make sure you let everyone else know where you are going. You don't want a search party heading out over Christmas.
- If you feel overwhelmed, let people know. You don't have to be involved in everything that's going on. You need to pace yourself and choose the things you would like to do. Just politely say, "no thank you". You have the right to say no sometimes.
- Get stuck in sometimes. Although you need to look after yourself, there may be times when you just need to get involved with the preparations and interaction. Maybe you could be the games master and pull everyone onto the twister mat, or organise other party games to get everyone moving.
Presents and money
A big stress around holiday time can be buying presents. What are you going to buy for that friend that doesn't seem to be into anything? Where are you going to get the money for everything you would like to buy?
- Get organised. It might seem a bit simple, but planning out what you would like to buy and what you can afford, will avoid extra stress. Get some simple cheap presents, or make your own. Search the Internet for ways to make cool gifts. Remember: it's the thought that counts. Check out Managing your finances for some tips.
- If you can't afford to get presents, but are worried people may get you something, talk to them. Make a pact to only spend a certain amount on one another. This can turn into a lot of fun, as you will both have to find some little funny gifts for one another.
- Others are probably feeling the same pressures as you. Try not to ask for too many things or presents that will break the budget. Your parents and friends will also be feeling the pinch at this time of year.
- If you want to do something for others, try volunteering. Doing something for others in need around this time is a great way to feel good about yourself and lend a hand. Check out Employment for some places to contact.
- Organising a trip can be a cheap way to spend time and have fun. Most cities have free activities that anyone can enjoy. Search online to find stuff in your city.
Remember: just because some things are supposed to be different around holiday time, doesn't mean you have to pretend to be different. Allow yourself to feel the way you do. Don't be hard on yourself if you are not in the mood for the festivities. Talk to someone about how you feel and share what the holidays are really like for you.
If you feel you are not coping very well around the holidays, it may be a good idea to contact a counsellor or help line. There are people out there even during the holidays and they are willing to help.
Resources
South Australia
- The Second Story Youth Health Service (TSS)
- Central: 57 Hyde St, Adelaide
- South: 50a Beach Rd, Christies Beach
- North: 6 Gillingham Rd, Elizabeth
- West: 51 Bower St, Woodville
Contact TSS via the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19,
- Want to get people moving, interacting, and having a laugh during the holidays? Check out some of the games in The Guide to Cooperative Games for Social Change:
http://www.commonaction.org/gamesguide.pdf
References
Nemours Foundation, 'Are the holidays too materialistic?'.
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/
(The Nemours Foundation publishes selected topics at relevant times throughout the year. This reference may only be available at certain times of the year.)
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).