Pregnancy - options
pregnant; pregnancy; young; people; youth; emergency; contraceptive; pills; morning; after; pill; adoption; foster; abortion; test;
Contents
For people who have planned and wanted a child, the news of pregnancy is wonderful. For some young people however, the news can come as a shock. A young woman might think, why me? She may fear her parent's reaction. She may feel very much alone, feel fear, shame, anger, sadness and despair. She may deny, even to herself, that she is really pregnant, and not do anything about it. A young man might fear parental reactions, feel helpless or may feel pushed aside.
Ignoring the possibility of pregnancy can reduce choices and mean that she won't get the medical care she needs. It's a time when a young person really needs a trusted adult or close friend to turn to and shouldn't have to make decisions alone.
This topic has an emphasis on pregnancy when you are quite young. There is another topic 'Pregnancy'which would be useful to read when you have read through this topic. Also, have a read of the Guide of Sanity & Survival for Young Parents (GOSSYP).
Important Note - Emergency contraception
If you recently had unprotected sex and are wanting to prevent an unwanted pregnancy contact your doctor quickly. In some countries, including Australia, emergency contraceptive pills (ECP) (morning after pill) are available that work to stop a pregnancy. These pills need to be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex. See the topic 'Emergency contraceptive pills (ECP).
Pregnancy tests
The first sign of pregnancy is usually a missed period or a very short, light period. Other signs are tenderness or tingling in the breasts or feeling sick. You could find you need to pass urine more often than usual.
You can have a pregnancy test done as soon as you miss your period. Some tests can detect pregnancy on the first day of the missed period, others from seven to ten days after intercourse. In many countries, including Australia, pregnancy testing kits are available from chemists/pharmacies. You can also have a blood or urine test done by your doctor.
Options: what to do
If the pregnancy is a shock for you, making choices about what to do won't be easy, but getting accurate information is the best way to help you make the right choice for you. Your beliefs and values about pregnancy will influence your decision. Other people could try to press their values and beliefs on you and pressure you into a choice that isn't right for you. Don't try to please others - only you know what is right for you.
Going ahead with the pregnancy
- If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy it is important to get good antenatal care - the sooner you're getting good care the better for you and the baby. A doctor or health worker can give you lots of advice about your diet and health and the baby's health.
- See the topic ''Pregnancy'for more info about how to care for yourself and your baby.
- Alcohol, drugs and smoking can all affect an unborn child. See the topics 'Cigarettes and smoking' and 'Alcohol effects on unborn children'.
- There are many special support programs for young women who are pregnant or who are new mums. These programs can often be of benefit to young fathers as well.
Adoption or fostering
Some young people decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and have their baby adopted or fostered. In most countries there are agencies or services who can help you arrange this. Adoption is a permanent arrangement and it is important to have some counselling before you make this choice. Adoption can offer the baby a good life if you yourself do not feel ready or able to be a parent, but sometimes mothers later deeply regret parting with their babies. See Adoption or fostering in South Australia below for local information.
Parenthood - single or together?
If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and become a parent, there are many things to consider. Will you parent together with your partner or alone? Here are some possible options.
- Care for your baby by yourself
- Get married and share parenting
- Live together and share parenting
- Share parenting while living separately
- Live with your parents or close family members who might be prepared or even delighted to help you look after your baby.
It can be really helpful to discuss your options with a counsellor to work out what might work best for you and your baby.
Also have a look at the topics 'Pregnancy'and 'Single parenting'.
Abortion (
termination of pregnancy)
About half of all women in Australia will have an unwanted pregnancy, and about half of these women will choose to have an abortion. While many women are clear than an abortion is the best choice for them, for others it can be a complex and difficult decision.
A decision to have a pregnancy termination (an abortion) needs to be made early in the pregnancy, preferably before 12 weeks of pregnancy. It's recommended that you get counselling before going down this track and explore the options and exactly what a termination means for you physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Physical risks are uncommon.
- Safe, legal abortion performed by qualified staff is very rarely associated with future risk to fertility. Most women return to their pre-pregnancy fertility immediately following the abortion.
- Termination does not increase the risk of breast cancer.
How a termination is done
Usually the woman is given a light general anaesthetic for the termination procedure. Local anaesthetic or local anaesthetic plus sedation (medication that make you feel drowsy and calm) is also available at some services. The woman must fast (not eat or drink) for 4-6 hours before the procedure.
The procedure involves the doctor inserting a small plastic tube through the vagina and into the uterus (womb). The pregnancy tissue is sucked out through the tube. This can be done in day surgery. The actual procedure only takes about 10 to 20 minutes but it is usual to stay in the clinic for 1½ to 3 hours afterwards.
What the law says about termination
In South Australia and the rest of Australia, pregnancy termination is legal if having the baby would harm your physical or mental health more than having the procedure, or if the child is found to be suffering from physical or mental abnormalities. Legally, the male partner does not have to give his consent. Men may want their say in whether a pregnancy or termination goes ahead - but the woman makes the final choice.
In South Australia, if you are 16 or over, your parents do not have to give consent either. If a young woman is under 16 and feels she can't talk to her parents about the pregnancy, she should talk to a doctor or counsellor about this.
If you live in a country other than Australia, pregnancy termination may not be legal. You will need to check your local laws.
There is more information about abortion and other pregnancy options on the website of the Pregnancy Advisory Centre
http://www.pregnancyadvisorycentre.com.au/
Telling your parents about a pregnancy
It can be pretty scary figuring out how to tell your parents about a pregnancy. The way you tell them will depend a lot on the relationship you already have with them. Sometimes your imagination about how they will react is worse than the reality. Often parents are very supportive.
Some people find it easier to tell one parent first, then the other. Others may want to tell a trusted family friend or relative first and ask that person for support in telling their parents. Others might want to tell their parents with the family doctor or another health worker present. This would mean setting up an appointment with the worker and getting parents to come along.
Give your parents time to get used to the idea and for them to think about it. It was probably a shock for you at first, but you've had some time to get used to the idea and have probably done some pretty heavy thinking. Their reactions may differ over time as they get used to the idea.
I was sixteen, I was so nervous, the ol' man wasn't home, thank god! I couldn't have told him. I walked in the kitchen and came right out with it, "Mum, I'm pregnant." She laughed and laughed - she thought I was joking, then she must have seen the look on my face because she stopped laughing and said, "You're not joking are you?" Thinking back I s'pose she was shocked. Anyway, Mum later told Dad.
Sian, 19 years
If you want to go ahead with the pregnancy and want to consider adoption, you can talk to the Adoption Services (See 'Resources' below). They will talk through all your options with you. Workers there have a great deal of knowledge and experience in adoptions and will give you plenty of time to discuss your individual situation.
It is important to see them early in your pregnancy to discuss all the options. Take as much time as possible to consider the situation very carefully because this is a permanent decision. They can help you to consider your choices. They place a great deal of importance on this, saying that adoption is one of most profound decisions birth parents will make in their lives.
The birth father has a right to a say in the situation by contacting the same department. If he suspects that his partner will be approaching the department to give up his child for adoption, he can contact the department about lodging a protest.
Another option may be to have the baby fostered until you feel better able to cope with your baby. You can still see your child regularly while in foster care with a family and can work towards having your child with you permanently. In SA, young mothers will be encouraged to have the child placed in the care of a family member (perhaps her mother, sister or an aunt, or a member of the father's family). If this is what you would like to do, talk to a worker in your local Families SA Service (See Resources below).
Resources
South Australia
What ever you do decide to do, there are people who can help. Turn to someone you trust, a friend or a relative, or contact one of the services below.
- The Second Story Youth Health Service (TSS) runs programs for young mothers
- Central: 57 Hyde St, Adelaide
- South: 50a Beach Rd, Christies Beach
- North: 6 Gillingham Rd, Elizabeth
- West: 51 Bower St, Woodville
Contact TSS via the Youth Health line on 1300 13 17 19,
or for mobile phone users (08) 8303 1691 - normal rates apply.
- Shine SA
http://www.shinesa.org.au
Sexual Healthline: 9am to 1pm Monday to Friday: 1300 883 793
Country callers 1800 188 171
- Shopfront Youth Health and Information Service - telephone (08) 8281 1775
Shopfront can provide pregnancy testing as well as a counselling service.
- Adoption Service
http://www.dfc.sa.gov.au/pub/default.aspx?tabid=199
Telephone (08) 8207 0060.
- Families SA - families and young people telephone (08) 8226 7000
http://www.dfc.sa.gov.au/pub/Default.aspx?tabid=163
- Pregnancy Advisory Centre - supporting women with unplanned pregnancy and abortion.
Telephone (08) 8243 3999 (1800 672 966 country callers)
http://www.pregnancyadvisorycentre.com.au
- Your family doctor.
- Your local hospital.
- Community Health Centres - check for your local service in your telephone book - they can help with pregnancy testing, advice and relationship counselling.
Australia
General
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).