Pregnancy
birth; baby; pregnancy; child; care; trimester; parent; mother; father; postnatal; depression; miscarriage;
Contents
So, you are having a baby. Lots to think about huh? And even more to read.
Decisions, decisions
Here are some questions you might ask yourselves if you are considering having a baby.
- How will I afford the costs?
- How will this affect my life, eg. school, work, career, social life, travel, other life plans and goals?
- Can I handle the responsibility of having a little child completely dependent on me every day, 24 hours a day, for at least fifteen years?
- Do I have the support in my life that I will need?
- Can our relationship take the strain of a baby? (Oh, did I forget to tell you that a baby can be stressful and add strain to a relationship?)
- Am I really ready for this now?
- Why do I want to have a baby - is it because I feel ready for the responsibility to care for another human being or because of something I need (e.g. companionship/love) which I could get in another way? Babies cannot meet their parents' needs - parents need to meet the baby's needs.
Talk to other young parents, or parents who were young when they had their first baby, about their experiences.
The topic Pregnancy options may be useful.
Trimesters of pregnancy
The nine months of pregnancy are divided into three stages which are called 'trimesters' - each is three months long.
1st Trimester (0 -12 weeks)
- The fertilised egg settles in the uterus (womb) and begins to grow.
- You may feel sick and may throw up (morning sickness). It may not only be in the morning. (See the topic Pregnancy – morning sickness for more information about how to manage this.)
- You may feel tingling in your breasts and they will grow larger throughout the pregnancy.
- You may feel tired and breathless.
- By 8 weeks the developing baby has hands and feet, and can pass urine by 10 weeks.
- By 12 weeks the baby weighs about 60 grams, and with the fluid around it, is the size of a large egg. Fingers and toes have developed. The head is large in proportion to the rest of the body. The baby's heartbeat can be heard with a monitor.
- By 12 weeks the uterus has grown large enough to be felt at the top of the pubic bone (bottom of the tummy). You may need to pass urine more often because the uterus is pressing on your bladder.
For much more information have a look at the Department of Health (South Australia) Pregnancy website Baby's growth in the first 3 months.
The first few weeks of pregnancy are very important for your baby's health, and babies do better if their mother sees her doctor for advice early in the pregnancy.
Miscarriage
About 1 in 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage, usually in the first few weeks of the pregnancy, and this can be very distressing. For more information have a look at the Pregnancy website If things go wrong – early pregnancy loss.
2nd Trimester (13 - 28 weeks)
- By 14 weeks morning sickness has usually stopped, but it sometimes continues.
- At 16 weeks the baby is about 15 cm long. The uterus has grown to about half way between the pubic bone and the belly button. Stretch marks may start to appear on the tummy and thighs of some women. Colostrum (clear fluid) can sometimes be expressed from the breasts.
- At 20 weeks the baby is 20 cm long. There are fine hairs on the head and eyebrows and there are fingernails. The mother can feel movements (called quickening). The uterus has grown to just below the belly button.
- At 28 weeks the foetus measures about 36 cm long, and weighs about 1 kilo. The foetus is fully formed but still very immature. A baby born at this stage will need special care, but has a good chance of surviving and being healthy.
- You may notice a dark line on your skin from the belly button to the pubic bone.
For more information have a look at Baby's growth in the second 3 months on the Pregnancy website.
3rd Trimester (29 - 40 weeks)
- At 30 weeks the uterus has grown to halfway between the belly button and the bottom of the breast bone (sternum).
- At 32 weeks the baby is about 40 cm long and weighs about 1.5 kg. There is less downy hair on the baby's body; the skin is red.
- At 36 weeks the uterus is at the bottom of the breastbone, its highest level. You may find this very uncomfortable and have some difficulty breathing. The baby weighs about 2.5 kg; the nails reach the fingertips and the edges of the ears are soft.
- At 38 weeks the baby is fully formed and developed and spends the next one to four weeks putting on weight and gaining strength for the birth.
- At full term (which is usually said to be 40 weeks, but may be anywhere between 38 and 42 weeks) the baby has smooth pink skin, usually weighs between 2.8 and 4.5 kg and measures about 50 cm long. The mother's breasts are much larger, the nipples being darker and erect.
For more information have a look at the Pregnancy website Baby's growth in the last 3 months.
Looking after yourself
Take care of yourself during pregnancy. It's important to care for yourself at any time - you are worth it! In pregnancy, your health affects the growing child inside you. This means that you need to eat healthily, get suitable physical exercise and have medical check-ups regularly, check out the topics Exercise and Healthy eating for some tips.
- Attend antenatal (before the birth) classes if you can, as a preparation for birth.
- Apart from the physical side, look after yourself emotionally. Pregnancy can mean ups and downs emotionally, especially if you are young and the pregnancy wasn't planned. Try to focus on the positives each day.
- An unplanned pregnancy doesn't mean you can't do the things in your life that you want to do - it does mean you may have to do them differently or at a different time. Take time out to relax. Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. They don't have to be expensive - some pretty shells or pebbles picked up from the beach, a scented candle or a picture of a beautiful scene can all make a display that makes you feel good. Choose whatever is right for you. Check out Stress and relaxation.
Protecting your unborn baby
It's very important to avoid smoking, drugs and alcohol, as these can harm babies.
Alcohol
Alcohol at any stage of your pregnancy can harm your developing baby.
- Large amounts of alcohol are more likely to do harm, but even a small amount of alcohol sometimes does harm.
- Have a look at the topic Alcohol – effects on unborn babies for more information.
- Our advice is that no alcohol is best for babies.
Smoking
If you smoke, your baby is more likely to be small at birth and not so healthy, and at greater risk of SIDS (cot death).
- Nicotine increases your heart rate and your baby's heart rate, the blood vessels are narrowed and the amount of oxygen that gets to the baby is less.
- The breathing movements of the baby are also reduced by the effect of the nicotine.
- To find out more about the effects of smoking, see our topics Cigarettes and smoking and Passive smoking.
- In South Australia there is a Pregnancy Quitline 1300 889 010 to help women stop smoking during pregnancy.
Medicines and other drugs
If you need to take any medicines, let your health care worker or doctor know - they will be able to give you information about whether they are safe, or may be able to suggest alternatives. See the topic Pregnancy – risks.
Even 'natural' medicines can have a harmful effect on a baby. See the topic Complimentary medicine.
Other risks
There are other ways a developing baby may be harmed, such as by infections or exposure to chemicals such as lead. See the topics Pregnancy – risks.
Choices in childbirth
Your choices about how you will give birth depend on what services are available to you and on any medical conditions you might have that could affect the health and safety of yourself and your baby at the birth.
- Most women choose to give birth in a hospital in the delivery suite or a birthing centre and a few have home births with midwives.
- Some mothers choose natural births (no pain relief), some choose water births and some choose "give me all the pain relief you've got, NOW doc!" births.
- Childbirth is painful, so be prepared to change you mind!
If you start thinking about your choices near the beginning of your pregnancy, you'll have time to consider different services and book into the one that feels right for you. You can also be thinking about who you would like to have with you to support you at the birth.
For more information, have a look at the topics about The birth on the Pregnancy website
For partners
Living with a pregnant partner can be a confusing time. Hormones released in pregnancy can affect a woman's moods.
- Try to ride the waves when the sea gets a little turbulent.
- At times, her body may ache and she'll need to tell you all about it.
- She may appreciate a rub or a massage to soothe the aches.
- Through all of this she needs you to be understanding and caring.
- Appreciating and taking an interest in the miraculous growth of the child inside her can help make this a special time for all of you.
You may have your own worries. Many people worry about supporting a family, changes to lifestyle and limited freedom, as well as supporting your partner emotionally through the pregnancy.
All this is before getting through the birth.
- Work through your worries one at a time, get counselling, or talk to a friend if it helps.
- Look for the positive sides to pregnancy and enjoy it while you can - see it as nine months of extra special growth, or alternatively, remember that it only lasts nine months!
- Read books on what is happening in the pregnancy, talk to other fathers, let your partner know you care and be supportive.
- Attend antenatal classes together.
After the birth you will probably want to get back to the old relationship you had before, but you will find that there are now many changes. This can be hard to adjust to.
- Your partner is likely to be tired a lot of the time at first and it takes weeks (sometimes months) for a woman's body to adjust to all the changes.
- If your partner isn't interested in sex for a while, try to be patient. The ongoing caring and love in your relationship will help most at first - interest in sex will come back as you both learn to get used to your new situation.
The topic Being a dad in the Parenting and Child Health site has more information about this.
After the birth
Parenthood means very big changes in your life. A child will need your love and attention and plenty of your time. Some of the best ingredients to put into raising children are to let them know every single day that you love them and to teach (discipline) them in ways that help them and do not hurt them, physically or emotionally.
There is a topic Being a parent on this site, and many topics about parenting on the Parenting and Child Health part of the site, such as Being a mum, Being a dad, Being a parent, Discipline and Living with babies.
Resources
Your family doctor may be able to provide you with care during most of your pregnancy, and with a lot of information. Your doctor will be able to refer you to a specialist if needed and a hospital. You may also choose to have a midwife as the person who provides you with much of your care.
South Australia
- Maternity hospitals
- Women can get care during their pregnancy, and can have their baby at many hospitals, both public and private, in South Australia, including some of the large hospitals in the country, such as in Whyalla and Mt Gambier. Some of the city hospitals include the Women's and Children's Hospital, Flinders Medical Centre, and Lyell McEwin Hospitals. Your doctor will be able to help you decide where to get care.
- Financial
- In Australia, there are some parenting benefits that you might be eligible for. Have a look at the Centrelink website http://www.centrelink.gov.au/ (see the 'Individuals' section, 'Are you a parent or guardian?') You can also talk to a social worker at Centrelink for more information on 13 13 05
- Accommodation
- Support services
- Children, Youth and Women's Health Service Youth Healthline 1300 13 17 19.
- Children, Youth and Women's Health Service Parent Helpline 1300 364 100.
- The Second Story Youth Health Service has a Young Mums/Young Parent's Project Worker on each of our three sites. They provide counselling, group programs and health care. Contact TSS via the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19, or for mobile phone callers (08) 8303 1691, normal rates apply.
http://cyh.com/SubContent.aspx?cp=405&p=413
- SHine SA – Sexual health hotline 1300 883 793 (9 to 1 Monday to Friday); 1800 188 171 (country callers only).
http://www.shinesa.org.au/
- Relationships Australia. For parent support programs and relationship counselling 8223 4144. Services
- South Australian Pregnancy Quitline: for a smoke free pregnancy 1300 889 010 (SA residents only).
http://www.quitsa.org.au/aspx/smoking_pregnancy.aspx
- SANDS Stillbirth and neonatal deaths support group
Support after a miscarriage or stillbirth: 8277 0304.
http://www.sandssa.org/
General
- Guide of Sanity & Survival for Young Parents (GOSSYP) Young mums in the north of Adelaide put together a booklet about their experiences.
http://www.cyh.com/SubContent.aspx?p=375
- Young mums - some filmakers got together with a group of young mums and made 4 movies telling their stories from their perspective. You can watch the movies for free here:
http://www.youngmums.com.au/
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Youth Healthline on 1300 13 17 19 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).