Parents on drugs
drugs; heroin; symptoms; hepatitis; safety; withdrawal; counselling; rehabilitation; overdose; pregnancy; ambulance; methadone; parenting; law; addict; drug addiction; smoking; tobacco; drug; alcohol ;
Contents
When parents are taking illegal drugs it can mean risks to the health and well-being of their children. Most parents want to do the best they can for their children. Children of alcoholics are more likely to abuse alcohol themselves than other children. Children of alcoholics and of parents who are on drugs are at risk of developing health, behaviour and emotional problems.
Each child is affected differently, some do well in spite of problems, others develop more problems. This topic looks at how parents and families can help to support and protect children if a parent is on drugs, and what might be able to be done to help the parent who wants to give up drugs.
Alert!
There is a strong risk of hepatitis C and hepatitis B infections by sharing needles in some addictions. Make sure children at risk are immunised against hepatitis B and aware of sensible precautions to avoid getting pricked.
Drugs
People often use drugs to try to feel better about themselves.
Drugs can also be used to help block feelings of guilt or shame, for example someone who has suffered abuse or sexual assault.
People may use drugs occasionally or may become totally dependent on them.
There is a wide range of drugs that can cause dependency, some are legal and some are not.
Drugs can include
- Medications (prescription drugs) such as sedatives
- Alcohol
- Illegal drugs, such as marijuana, heroin, cocaine, amphetamines.
Drug use contributes to 20% of all deaths in Australia. This figure is 33% in the 15 - 34 year age group. Most of these deaths are caused by tobacco in older people, and alcohol in younger and older people.
The law and drugs
There are legal penalties if people are found to have illicit drugs (drugs that are against the law).
- Legally 'possession' means having drugs in your custody or under your control including on you, in your car, in your house or garden.
- 'Trafficking' - means getting a drug from source to users, and includes manufacturing drugs, exchanging drugs, offering to sell drugs or supply drugs or intending to sell drugs.
People who are on drugs often deny being on drugs. They may make excuses for their behaviour or blame it on other things. This table shows some of the signs that someone may be on drugs.
| Drug |
Effect on behaviour |
Symptom of withdrawal |
| Tranquilliser |
relaxed, not inhibited |
panic attacks, anxious, hallucinations |
| Heroin |
relaxed, drowsy |
anxious, jumpy, secretes mucous |
| Amphetamines |
increased energy, delays fatigue |
deep depression, slow and tired |
| Marijuana |
slower reflexes, less coordinated |
Anxious, difficulty sleeping |
| Cocaine |
increased energy, delays fatigue |
deep depression, slow and tired |
Drugs and parenting
Just because someone is on drugs does not mean he or she will be a bad parent. Some are good parents and their drug problem does not affect their children. There are others where the problem can have very bad effects, and a wide range in the middle who occasionally cause harm to their children. For example, a parent can have a glass or two of wine without it affecting the children, but if the parent has three glasses and drives with the children it can put the children at risk.
Studies in the USA have shown that generally addicted mothers cared for their children in the same ways as non-addicted mothers. Overall they tended to be less strict and use less physical punishment. They were more likely to feel inadequate and have fears about the future of their children.
Some of the bad effects may be:
- forgetting to provide meals for the children
- leaving them unattended or not properly supervised
- children may have difficulty coping with mood swings and erratic behaviour.
What parents on drugs can do to help their children
- Be honest with your children. If you try to cover up they will know anyway and they won't talk to you about their worries and fears. Help them to understand what is happening.
- Identify a safe person, eg a neighbour or relative whom the children can call upon if in trouble. This should be someone you and the children trust and feel comfortable with. Teach your children how to contact this person.
- As children get older teach them basic first aid. Show and explain when to use the coma position and CPR (resuscitation) if the children are old enough.
- Program the emergency number into the phone. The number should be clearly marked 'EMERGENCY'. If you can't program it into the phone put a sign next to the phone and make sure your children know where it is.
- Teach the children what sort of information to give in an emergency, especially street name and number. Put your address on or next to the phone as it is easy to forget in a panic.
- In Australia you can set up a Homelink facility with a relative or friend so your child can call them from anywhere in any emergency. Homelink is a facility where a child uses a pass code to call the 'home' number from anywhere and the cost is charged to the 'home' number. Contact your phone company.
- Have food in the house that is easy for the children to get if you are not available to provide a meal. Cans of baked beans, frozen meals or noodles and packet sauces are useful. Make sure there is always fresh fruit for them to snack on.
- Talk to your children about your drug habit and the effects it may have. Be open and honest with your children, often they know more than you are aware of.
- If either parent becomes violent when using drugs, remember that violence always harms children even if they are not physically hurt. See the topic 'More than arguements - domestic violence' for ideas about how to protect the children.
Children react to parents on drugs in different ways. They may:
- try to be very good to please the parent
- try to work extra hard at school to avoid the problems at home
- try to avoid going home, perhaps spending a lot of time with friends
- have behaviour problems so that attention goes to the child and not the parents' problem
- try to harm themselves or act in ways that harm themselves (be careless with their own safety)
- become withdrawn and perhaps get overlooked
- act as a clown to draw attention from the parent.
What parents can do to get off drugs
Taking drugs is a health risk to yourself and your children. If you have been taking a lot of drugs and you want to get off drugs you will probably need specialist help. See Resources in Australia.
Counselling
Children can accompany parents to counselling sessions. There may be toys and videos to keep them occupied, or arrangements for childcare can be organised (in Australia).
Withdrawal symptoms
Giving up drugs is not simple. Stopping drugs can have quite severe short-term effects which are called withdrawal symptoms. It is a good idea to discuss these symptoms with your children, as they can be quite alarming if unexpected. Some of the symptoms you may experience when coming off drugs are:
- aggitation, you may be anxious, tense or jittery
- unpleasant sensations such as crawling skin, itching or sweating
- a runny nose, coughing, sneezing
- aching joints
- muscle cramps
- feeling emotional: depressed, angry, hopeless
- craving for drugs
- tired
- can't sleep
- nightmares
- convulsions - advise your partner or children to get help if this happens.
Rehabilitation
Sometimes people need to go to live for a time in a place where they will be treated for their addiction. This can take from six months to a year or more. It also often includes complete separation from their previous lifestyle and even contact with the family may be limited.
- If you need to go into treatment, counselling and arrangements can be made for the children.
- Your children won't be removed just because you are a drug user. (Neglect or abuse has to be proved before children can be removed.)
- After rehabilitation you will probably go to a 'half way or safe house' so that you can gradually ease back into normal life.
- You may need to move away from the area or friends who are influencing your drug habit in order to give up drugs. This may mean your children have to change schools or friends. It is important to talk to your children about the reasons for the move and the long-term benefits for the family.
Note: It is often hard for people to admit they have a problem with drugs because of embarrassment and risk of being rejected, so it needs a lot of courage to take the first step to getting off drugs. If you want to take this step towards health, get support from a friend or counsellor.
What family members can do to support the parent on drugs
What is right for one may not be right for another, there are no magic formulas. It is most important not to panic. If you keep calm it will be much easier to discuss the problem and find a solution.
Learn all you can
Check out the facts about the drug and its effects and consequences. Be honest about your feelings and seek expert advice. You will be much better able to help if you are well informed.
Support the children
Often parents who are on alcohol or drugs break arrangements with children and leave them feeling disappointed and angry.
Responsible help
You may need to get outside help, either to counsel you or to help the children of the family member on drugs. The stigma of addiction can continue long after the addiction has been overcome so be careful and selective about whom you talk to. Some people you may find it necessary to confide in for the children's or drug taker's safety are:
- other family members
- a family doctor
- a child's teacher
- the police
- a professional drug counsellor.
Free choice
Assist with the chosen treatment but be careful not to try to force the person into a treatment. People need to choose the treatment type for themselves, as they must feel comfortable and able to cope with it in order for it to succeed. On the other hand, it is not helpful to try to protect the person from the consequences of his actions.
Don't judge
It is often more effective to offer support and sympathy than advice. Remember that nobody likes to be criticised and it is not helpful. A person who is taking drugs is likely to already feel vulnerable and defensive, and criticism may make things worse and mean that the person will not trust you or turn to you for support. Your attitude should be that people taking drugs are responsible for their own actions. Encourage even small efforts to overcome the problem and give moral support.
Keep communication channels open
Listen as well as talk, and don't force the issue as this causes people to shut down. These questions may help: "What is stopping you from change?", "What makes you keep using?" and "What support/information would help you?"
No cash
Partners and adult family members should not give the drug taker money but can help by paying bills for treatment with non-negotiable cheques, providing groceries or transport.
Offer practical help
If the person on drugs decides to go into rehabilitation family members may need to assist in looking after children. Ask what help is needed.
If parents get aggressive on drugs, set up a safety net for the children, eg organise a neighbour who they can go to, or to phone a family member.
Stages in motivation to change
A person generally needs to be at the right stage of motivation and to progress through each stage in order to make changes. Recognise the following stages in people being motivated to change their behaviour.
- Not aware
Other people can see the drug use is causing harm but the user can't.
- Aware
Users know they have a problem but are not sure what to do.
- Decision
The person decides to change.
- Action
The person acts to change his drug use.
- Maintenance
The person uses new skills and knowledge to maintain the change.
- Relapse
Users sometimes go back to drugs. This doesn't mean failure; it can be an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and to understand themselves better. Relapse may be short or long term.
What a child can do if a parent is on drugs
It is helpful to teach children some things to help themselves as they get old enough, if parents are on drugs.
Keeping safe
- Keep yourself safe. It is your parents' responsibility to keep themselves safe - you should never feel responsible for their burden as well.
- It's not the child's responsibility to take on parental duties such as cleaning or cooking (apart from normal chores).
- This does not mean children should not be caring and supportive but they need to understand that it is important to put their safety and well being first.
Talk to someone
- You don't have to cope on your own.
- Talk to an adult you can trust, eg grandparents, teacher, priest, sports coach. It should be someone you feel comfortable and safe with, whom you trust and who cares about you.
- Even if it is a "secret" in you house, it is important for you to have support for yourself - this is not breaking trust.
- Talk to someone who has professional skills, such as a Kid's Helpline.
AIDS and hepatitis
- If you have a parent who is sharing needles with others, there is a risk of her getting AIDS, hepatitis B or hepatitis C.
- It may be useful to talk to your doctor about your risk of infection and whether you need to be immunised against hepatitis B.
What to do if someone has overdosed
If people are aggressive:
- Make sure you and others are safe
- Remove objects which could be dangerous
- If people are:
- out of control
- not able to talk
- shouting and screaming at no one in particular
- constantly repeating a few words
- is confused and doesn't know where they are
- hysterical
Call an ambulance and if necessary the police.
If they are hallucinating:
- Ensure your own and other's safety
- Move and speak calmly
- Ask them what they have taken, when and how much
- Seek medical assistance and inform them that the person is hallucinating.
If they have taken an overdose they are unconscious
Don't delay!
- Nearly all overdoses are reversible if an ambulance arrives quickly enough.
- Don't waste time debating whether to call an ambulance - the difference between life and death can be minutes.
- Don't worry about getting into trouble. Ambulance officers don't have to call the police unless they have been physically threatened.
When you ring for an ambulance
- Have the address ready for the operator
- Tell the operator that someone has collapsed and that it is caused by drugs.
Drug addiction in pregnancy - what it does to the baby
Most psychoactive drugs (drugs that affect your feelings) cross the placenta and can affect the unborn child. Heavy use of some drugs during pregnancy can cause foetal distress or (sometimes major) abnormalities, miscarriage, premature labour, low birth weight and delays in development.
- Due to the lifestyle associated with addiction, women who are addicted and fall pregnant are often in poor health.
- Children of addicted parents are at greater risk of later behaviour problems.
Some common problems
- Premature birth is common.
- There is a high proportion of breech and Caesarean births, often associated with prematurity.
- Babies experience withdrawal symptoms that vary from hardly any symptoms to convulsions. This is often traumatic for the mother who may feel guilty about it.
Effects of various drugs in pregnancy
- Alcohol
- Exposure to excess alcohol before birth is known as Foetal Alcohol Syndrome.
- The main damage caused by exposure to alcohol in the uterus (womb) is to the central nervous system. Damage to the brain can vary from mild to severe and affects learning.
- Developmental delay is common and the effects are usually permanent.
- Marijuana
The effects of marijuana are not clear.
- Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the chemical in marijuana, crosses the placenta easily. Smoking marijuana reduces the amount of oxygen in foetal blood like smoking tobacco.
Heroin
- Using heroin increases the risk of stillbirth, neonatal death, foetal distress, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and complications in pregnancy.
- The long-term effects of heroin use in pregnancy are not known.
Cocaine
Use of cocaine in pregnancy increases the risk of spontaneous abortion, early delivery with lower birth weight, a smaller head circumference and irreversible damage to the placental and inter-uterine blood vessels.
There is also the possibility of retarded growth and neurological complications.
At the toddler stage children may have difficulty with muscle control and there are sometimes defects in the urinary tract and genitalia.
Smoking
The baby is likely to be smaller at birth.
There are increased chances of miscarriage, stillbirth and SIDS.
Nicotine passes into breastmilk and may harm the baby after birth too.
Being around smokers increases the likelihood babies will have colds and chest infections. (See the topic Passive smoking)
Methadone and pregnancy
Heroin and methadone both affect the unborn baby but the negative effects of methadone are less than continued heroin use.
One of the differences between heroin and methadone is that heroin is short acting and available for about 4 hours, whereas methadone spans about 24 hours.
Methadone creates a more stable environment for the foetus with less problems for the baby.
Low dose methadone results in fewer complications than high dose; however, methadone needs to be sufficient to prevent the user from wanting to use heroin or other drugs as well.
The major risk of methadone is that the baby will have withdrawal symptoms after birth and may need special care for a while. However, there do not appear to be any long-term effects of methadone on babies.
Transmission of hepatitis B and C
These diseases can be transmitted to the baby at birth, but immunising a baby at birth against hepatitis B reduces the risks of that infection.
It is important to inform the doctor or midwife if there is a chance of infection.
Breastfeeding and drugs
Many drugs that a mother takes are passed through breast milk, and some pass through at levels high enough to affect the baby.
If you take drugs you need medical advice about breastfeeding.
See the topic Breastfeeding - medicines and drugs.
On this site
South Australia
- Child and Youth Health Parent Helpline, any time, any day. 1300 364 100.
- Child and Youth Health Youth Healthline, any time, any day. 1300 131 719
- For help, advice or general information phone the Drug and Alcohol Services South Australia (DASSA) which runs the Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) on 1300 131 340 (toll free).
http://www.dassa.sa.gov.au/site/page.cfm
- Pregnancy Quitline (smoking) 1300 889 010
- If you have any questions about a medicine, check with your doctor or ring the "Medicine and Drug Information Centre" information service at Women's and Children's Hospital - (08) 8161 7222 (South Australia only).
Australia
- Kids Help Line
Kids Help Line is a free, confidential, telephone counselling service for kids 5 to 18 years. Children simply dial Freecall 1800 55 1800 if they need advice or have a problem they wish to discuss with an independent counsellor. This service can be totally anonymous and children do not need to disclose any personal information. The service is national and can be dialled from anywhere in Australia.
There is also a website, www.kidshelp.com.au
- Quit Helpline 131 848
The Australian Drug Information Network (ADIN) provides links to other drug and alcohol related sites on the world wide web. This may be a good starting point for people who wish to explore other websites for specific drug and alcohol related information.
http://www.adin.com.au/
Byrne A 'Addict in the family - how to cope with the long haul'
http://www.csdp.org/addict/
Substance Misuse Net, Information about substance misuse and interventions, Wales (UK). www.substancemisuse.net
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).
This topic may use 'he' and 'she' in turn - please change to suit your
child's sex.