Contraception
sex; safe; safer; contraception; intercourse; intimate; physical; relationship; transmitted; diseases; HIV/AIDS; protection; pill; condoms; IUD; depo; provera; emergency; contraceptive; unprotected; diaphragms; sexuality; condom; implant; implanon;
Contents
Many parents are worried about their teenagers' sexual well being and want to protect them from harm and unnecessary suffering. As children grow we teach them how to protect themselves and tell them what our values are and why we think they way we do.
At some point we have to trust in their ability to care for themselves. They will be in situations when they need to make decisions and act for themselves. As a parent of a teenager there are still some useful things that you can do to support your teenager's sexual safety. The most important of these is to be open and available to talk with them.
- It is helpful for teenagers to have both their father and mother talk to them about sex (where possible).
- If fathers are not interested or involved, teenagers may learn that contraception and sexual safety are not male responsibility.
- Talk about the sexual choices for young people. Include discussions about how to say "no".
- Encourage self assurance and the ability to say "no" without feeling guilty.
- If you really find it too uncomfortable to talk about sex, let your children know that you find it difficult. You can always use books or other resources. There are also others teenagers can talk to eg sexual health clinics, youth health services, their doctor, school counsellor, family member or one of your friends.
- There are many topics about contraception choices on the Teen Health and Young Adult Health sections on this site.
Self esteem
How your teenager feels about himself or herself as a male or female will have a greater influence on what he or she does sexually than anything else.
- Make sure they know that they are loved.
- Understand their need to feel wanted by their family and by friends.
- Let them know that you value them for themselves, whether they are male or female.
- Model mutual respect in your home. This is very important.
- If people in your home put each other down, your teenagers will learn to put others down or let others put them down.
- If they see other people valued they will learn to value others and to expect to be treated well.
- This will carry over into their sexual lives.
Let your teenager know that there are always choices in life.
- Choices can be about education, recreation and about personal lifestyle.
- Knowing that there is a choice gives power.
- A young woman may choose a lifestyle which offers an alternative to having boys and romance as the main interest.
- Young men may choose lifestyles which don't involve being tough and competitive.
- Teenage women with fewer choices are more likely to become teenage mothers.
Facts about sexual relationships
You might like to consider the following, which could be useful for your teenager to know.
- Sexual feelings can be very strong in both boys and girls. They need to understand about these feelings and how they will know they are aroused. They need to know that once they get to a point it can be very difficult to turn back from having sexual intercourse.
- An intimate physical relationship without sexual intercourse is possible. There are many ways of giving and receiving pleasure which don't involve unsafe practices or vaginal intercourse.
- Saying "no" is a perfectly good method of protection but your teenagers need to:
- want to say "no"
- know how to say "no"
- have this right respected by their partner.
- The Teen Health topic 'Are you ready for sex' explores many of the things that they need to think about.
- Contraception is only part of safe sex.
- Contraception is designed to prevent pregnancy but does not necessarily protect against sexually transmitted diseases such as chlamydia and HIV.
- Protection against sexually transmitted diseases is essential for any young person having sexual intercourse.
- See the topics 'Safer sex' and 'Sexually transmitted infections' for more information.
- Many young people do become sexually active.
- Most teenage pregnancies are unplanned and many end in abortion.
- The alternative, being a very young parent, has major impacts on the life of a woman.
- Contraception information needs to be available to young people.
Methods of contraception
Contraception reduces the likelihood of pregnancy. It does not reduce or encourage sexual intercourse.
- Using the 'rhythm' method of contraception (on the safe period of a cycle) needs commitment from both partners to learn it and stick to the rules. It is not a reliable method for teenagers.
- If your daughter uses the pill as contraception, her partner will still need to use a condom and follow other safe sex practices to protect each of them against sexually transmitted infections. Boys need to be aware of this. See 'Safer sex'.
- For the contraceptive pill to work, it must be taken at the same time every day. Vomiting and diarrhoea can interfere with it, so can some medicines, including antibiotics. This will need to be discussed with the doctor who prescribes it. See 'The pill'.
- Condoms are good as a method of contraception if they are used correctly every time.
- They need to be put on before any contact between the penis and the vagina or any of the woman's outside sexual organs - before intercourse takes place.
- A new one must be used every time.
- Using condoms takes practice, planning and familiarity, and a sense of fun makes it easier.
- See the topic 'Using condoms'.
- IUDs (intra-uterine-devices) are usually unsuitable for teenagers.
- Diaphragms can be a difficult first choice for teenagers. See 'Diaphragm'.
- Depo provera is an injectable hormone which provides protection against pregnancy for 3 months at a time. See 'Contraceptive injection'.
- Contraceptive implant (Implanon) which gives protection for 3 years. This device is a thin plastic rod that is placed under the skin of the inner upper arm. It releases constant small amounts of a hormone called progestogen into the body. See 'Implanon'.
- The Emergency Contraceptive Pill can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex to prevent a pregnancy (but it is better if used within 3 days). See the topic 'Emergency contraception'.
All of these options have advantages and disadvantages which a doctor or health worker can explain in full.
Contraception is only part of what your teenagers needs to think about. Be prepared to discuss all of their issues calmly and to support them. The more adults they have whom they can trust to share their concerns with, the safer they will be. This includes their doctor and other health professionals.
Reminders
- Set a good foundation in childhood. Let your children know your values.
- How young people feel about themselves will have as much impact on what they do as what they know.
- In the end young people will make up their own minds. You need to let them know that even if you don't agree with what they are doing, you will be there for them.
- Try to make it comfortable for your children to talk to you about sex.
Resources
In South Australia
SHine SA - Sexual Health information, networking and education
http://www.shinesa.org.au/
- Sexual Healthline, 9am to 1 pm Monday to Friday: 1300 883 793
Country callers 1800 188 171
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).
This topic may use 'he' and 'she' in turn - please change to suit your
child's sex.