Conduct disorders
behaviour; tantrum; conduct disorder; aggressive; mental; health; naughty; ;
Contents
Conduct disorder is a name used to describe really difficult behaviours in some children. People who are said to have conduct disorder behave in ways that may harm others and in ways that others disapprove of. More boys have these really difficult behaviours than girls (about 5 times more boys than girls).
They are easily upset, have temper tantrums, often do not want to cooperate and are frequently restless and hyperactive. They may have trouble at school and have difficulties with their school work and may get into trouble with the police and/or the law as an adolescent.
What is a conduct disorder?
Conduct Disorder is the phrase used by some psychologists and psychiatrists to describe the behaviour of some children.
All children are 'naughty' sometimes - especially at the ages of two, three and four. young children often don't do what they are asked and easily lose their temper in response to frustration.
The term 'Conduct Disorder' means that a child has many behaviours that seem very difficult for the parent to control and they do not improve as a result of the efforts of the parents to manage them. This label is usually used for older children.
For children with this label, any of the following may apply:
- often do not want to co-operate
- frequently have tantrums
- can be very bossy and demanding
- may be aggressive with their parents, other children and teachers
- bite, kick and throw things a lot
- are frequently restless and hyperactive
- find it difficult to concentrate
- find it hard to go to sleep and/or stay asleep
- can have 'another side' that is loving and very 'grown up' for their age
- can have parents who feel defeated and exhausted.
How does a child develop a conduct disorder?
No one really knows exactly and for sure. They seem to be a few things that lead to children being so hard to manage and so exhausting.
- Sometimes children are born with personalities that don't mix very well with those of their parents - they seem to rub each other up the wrong way all the time.
- Sometimes parents have had special difficulties when children are very young that has made it hard to be a relaxed parent.
- Sometimes parents haven't realised how young their children really are and have expected them to be able to do things that are too hard to manage.
- Sometimes parents have done a lot of bossing and smacking, thinking it was good to 'discipline' their child.
Whatever the cause, the child often begins by getting a lot of attention for being naughty at a very young age. Getting negative attention by doing "naughty" things becomes a habit until eventually the parents find that almost all the time they have together the parents are telling their child off or trying to punish them. This habit is very hard to break for both the child and the parent and they take up each other's time and energy in a negative rather than a positive way. It can make children believe they are "naughty" kids and make parents believe they are "bad" parents.
What are the consequences of conduct disorder?
All children get into trouble, get cross and won't do as they are told some of the time. However if this is happening so often that the child is said to have a 'Conduct Disorder' it is quite a serious thing. It means that:
- the child will spend a lot of time feeling angry and sad
- the parents may not enjoy their child's company
- the parents and child will have to work very hard to make things better.
If nobody notices the conduct disorder problem, or they leave it a long time to get some help, a child might:
- get into trouble at school and have difficulties with school work
- get into serious trouble with the police and/or the law as an adolescent.
What can you do about your child's conduct disorder?
If you think your child's behaviour has gone past the point of being 'difficult but normal' you should seek help from a suitable professional as soon as possible. A psychologist or doctor may use the term 'Conduct Disorder'. If someone in these professions considers your child to have this problem they should be offering you some help. You will need ongoing support to make changes for the child, yourself and the rest of the family, as it is difficult to make things better all alone. The person who supports you can be a counsellor, social worker or psychologist who will need to see you regularly to help you make the changes you need to make.
You need to know that your child will not be able to get better unless you are able to make some big changes. A child will only ever change after a parent has started doing things differently first.
Here are some things to try:
- Work at building a more positive relationship with your child.
- Be consistent in whatever you do. Get your support person to help you with this.
- Stop punishing your child. You and your child are already very angry; punishment will make things worse not better.
- If your child is under five, consistently restrain him physically and non-violently from hitting, kicking and damaging property. You need to make it clear that you will not allow this to happen.
- If your child is over five you will need to still restrain her physically when possible and also work out some appropriate consequences for violent and difficult behaviour. You will need to discuss these consequences with your support person.
- Do not wait until your child's behaviour improves before you start having some good times together. If you do you will never get to have any good times together.
- Listen to your child as much as you can.
- Notice small improvements and comment positively on these changes.
- Practice unconditional love - showing that you love your child - no matter what he does.
- Stick up for your child when others are overly negative or unfair. Don't assume your child is always wrong.
- Support teachers and other caregivers in trying to manage your child's behaviour.
Keep on trying to improve your relationship with your child even though you get very tired and want to give up sometimes because you feel you aren't getting anywhere. All your hard efforts will eventually improve the situation and increase your and your child's happiness.
- Bloomquist M, Schnell S."Helping Children with Aggression and Conduct problems" The Guilford Press 2002.
- Herbert M "Banishing Bad Behaviour: Helping parents with a child's conduct disorder" ACER Publishing 1996.
- Nixon R, "Treatment of Behavior Problems in Preschoolers: A review of parent training programs" Clinical Psychology Review 22[2002]525-546
- Sanders MR, Gooley S, Nicholson J 'Early intervention in conduct problems in children' Australian Early Intervention Network for Mental Health in Young People (AusEInet) 2000
http://auseinet.flinders.edu.au
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).
This topic may use 'he' and 'she' in turn - please change to suit your
child's sex.