Teenagers and drugs
teenagers; drugs; adolescents; drug-taking; peers; peergroup; self-esteem; alcohol;
Contents
Many parents worry about whether their teenagers are taking illegal drugs, how they can tell, and what to do about it. While there is a lot of concern about illegal drugs, the most harm and the greatest risk to young people comes from using legal drugs such as alcohol, cigarettes and medicines.
However, young people often want to experiment with new things and test limits, so it is not surprising that many of them try illegal drugs. Fortunately, out of those who try, not all will go on using drugs regularly and only a few will develop serious problems.
With all the stories about drugs in the media, many parents wonder why young people would even think of trying drugs. The fact is that many young people don't try them. Of the young people who are having problems in their lives, only a small number turn to drugs.
It seems that the longer young people wait before they first try or regularly use drugs, the less likely it is that a drug problem will develop. While this can offer some comfort to parents, it is important for parents to be well informed and know what to do for their child.
Resource
The Australian Government National Drugs Campaign
http://www.drugs.health.gov.au/.
Why do teenagers use drugs?
Some parents think that young people only use drugs if they are depressed or have problems at home or school. Understanding some of the reasons may help parents to appreciate the many pressures with which teenagers are faced.
Some of the reasons are:
- wanting to try something different
- availability - access to drugs is not necessarily difficult (it's usually through other young people, friends or older peers).
- acceptance by peer group - "Most of my friends were doing it"
- rebellion - "because you don't approve" or said "No"
- depression - "I just wanted to feel better"
- confidence and self-esteem - "I wanted to feel better about myself"
- relaxation or coping with stress, boredom or pain - "All my problems disappeared for a while"
- following an example - if you use drugs or alcohol, don't be surprised if your child follows.
Young people often rely on friends to tell them what to expect from a drug, and the information they get is often not accurate.
How will I know if my teenager is taking drugs?
This is the most common question that parents ask. The answer is that there is no easy, sure way to tell.
- The effect of the drug might have worn off before you see your teenager
- The effect of the drug might not be easy to observe.
- Even when there is a major change in behaviour, it could be caused by something else, such as illness or depression.
Parents who know their children well may notice changes in behaviour that might be a sign that something is wrong, such as:
- silence, sulking, or anger towards others
- mood swings
- more than usual lack of cooperation and rudeness
- wanting to spend very little time being with or talking with the family
- poor school performance, or truancy
- dropping out of regular activities, like sport
- a change of friends – unexplained or sudden change to a new group of friends
- changes in physical appearance, eg. reddened eyes
- eating problems
- lack of energy - feeling tired all the time
- valuable items or money missing at home.
Don't jump to conclusions! Think about all the possible reasons for a change in behaviour. Is it due to a sudden growth spurt, or changes due to puberty? Are there problems at school or with friends? Are things going on within your family that could be affecting your teenager?
It's a good idea to react to the situation in the same way that you would to anything that made you feel worried about your teenager's wellbeing.
Drug testing
Drug testing children has many problems. Subjecting children to drug testing is usually a bad idea for a host of reasons, including often inaccurate results and loss of the child's trust.
- Parents may be tempted by newly available home drug screening kits in an effort to catch the problem early. But the American Academy of Pediatrics said screening for illicit drugs is a complicated process prone to errors and cheating, and has not been shown to stop youngsters' drug use.
- Drug testing also creates a climate of "resentment, distrust and suspicion" between children and their parents or school administrators.
- False-positive results can arise from eating poppy seeds or taking some cold medications, and test results may need to be confirmed with expensive further testing, it said.
- Many teenagers are also likely to be aware of web sites that offer methods of defeating drug testing.
In addition, several illegal drugs are undetectable in urine more than 72 hours after use, and standard tests do not detect often abused substances such as alcohol, ecstasy and inhalants.
Bringing up the subject
To raise the subject, you need to be able to talk with some confidence. The way you talk will make a difference to how your teenager responds.
- Find out about drugs for yourself first, so that you know what you are talking about. The 'Talking with your kids about drugs' site has fact sheets on all of the common drugs.
- Try to find out by communication, not detection! Detection won't give you the answers. Don't go on searches for drugs - the cost of loss of trust that happens if you search through your teenager's belongings will be greater than the benefit of anything you might find out.
- Try to discuss it at a time when you are both in a reasonable mood. Make some private time. A good time is when you are driving your teenager somewhere she wants to go, but not when you are in a hurry.
- Say something that opens up the subject in an easy way such as, "I have noticed that you haven't been yourself lately. Can you tell me how you have been feeling?" Most young people will let you know what is happening if you ask at the right time, if they are not afraid of punishment, and if they see you as a caring friend.
- Make it easy for your teenager to talk to you. Try talking about someone else you know, so that your teenager sees that you are open to listen. You might say, for example: "I was talking to a friend about her daughter smoking pot. She was very worried. What do you think about it?" (sometimes a teenager will test out parents by talking about a friend when they really mean themselves - be careful how you respond!)
If you suspect or find out your teenager is taking drugs
Don't react immediately!
- Give yourself time to calm down if you are upset, and to think through what is happening.
- Strong reactions due to fear are common but they don't help.
- Don't ridicule or lecture.
- There is a danger that a big argument about it might 'back you both into a corner' and harm your relationship with your teenager.
If you are suddenly faced with drug use, let things simmer down. Wait until your teenager sleeps it off and talk the next day. Getting angry will close the door on communication.
- Try to get a picture of what is happening in your child's life.
- Give your teenager a chance to tell you what happened, eg. "We'd like you to give us an idea what was going on".
- Try to separate the behaviour from the person. You may not approve of what your teenager is doing but you still need to show your love and care.
- It is important to tell your teenager that you are concerned about his wellbeing and think he might be using drugs.
Your teenager probably knows, but remind him what your values are and what you will allow in your house. This can be a tricky issue and will depend on how old your teenager is. With older teenagers you may have to come to terms with the fact that they are making their own life choices.
- However if they won't give up the drug you still have the right to say that they are not to use it at home.
- Some parents tell their teenagers to give it up or they will have to leave home. If you say this, you need to be sure that it is what you really want and that you mean what you say. Be sure that your teenager is not pushed into a more risky living situation.
Find out what kinds of drugs are being used and how they are being used. The best way to find out is to ask your teenager.
- Discuss with him what he considers to be the benefits and consequences of using drugs.
- Is he clearly aware of what is likely to happen if he uses drugs, such as the effect on his family relationships, education, and future chances of getting work?
If your teenager is apprehended give him moral support but let him see that it is his responsibility.
- Let him deal with the consequences of his behaviour, including picking up the bills, making arrangements, keeping appointments, etc.
- In South Australia currently, there are four options in the criminal system for young people who are apprehended for possessing and/or using illicit drugs: informal caution; formal caution; a Family Conference or being charged and referred to the Youth Court. This is called the Police Drug Diversion Initiative.
- Discuss with your teenager the fact that your trust has been broken. Ask him what he thinks should happen and ask what he will do to prove that you can trust him again.
- Punishment hardly ever prevents drug use.
- Remember drugs are not the only things that can lead to difficult decisions for parents. There are many times when you will have to think about what your rights and needs are and what are your teenager's rights and needs.
If you find or suspect your teenager (or friend) has passed out from drug or alcohol use, phone 000 (Australia) immediately for an ambulance. Do not hesitate.
- If you are concerned, don’t know what to do, or want to know how to be prepared to handle a drug overdose contact the Alcohol and Drug Information Service.
Remember much drug use is for trying something new. Using drugs is not the same as being addicted to drugs. In most cases addiction to drugs happens over time after they have been used regularly. Even though some people may get addicted faster than others, it is not true to say that using drugs for a short time will always lead to addiction.
What parents can do
Good parenting is important to all children and teenagers and should help them to be healthy in all parts of their lives. However, good parenting will not necessarily prevent teenagers from trying drugs. They are at an age when they make their own choices about using drugs, and many other things as well. Using drugs is often just part of being a teenager. If you find that your teenager has used, or is using illegal drugs, you should not blame yourself (unless you have been an influence with your own behaviour).
- The way you live your life and the behaviours you model will influence your children. When it comes to parenting and drugs "Do as I say, not as I do" has little impact. Think about your use of alcohol, tobacco, medications and other drugs.
- Spend time with your children (start before they are into their teens) – be involved in their lives, know who their friends are, teachers’ names, what interests them. Show a genuine interest rather than be seen as 'prying'.
- Teach responsible behaviour. Give them practice at making choices and approval for responsible choices. Gradually give them the responsibility for making their own decisions.
- Teach the balance of rights and responsibilities, so that they understand that responsibilities come with rights. For example ask that your teenager lets you know where she is going when she is out, but allow her to have some say about when she comes in.
As your children enter their teen years think about what you can do to help make their lives interesting.
- Think about your weekends. If you spend the weekend sitting around with stubbies and smoking, you are modelling that this is the way to spend your spare time! If your weekends offer things to look forward to, they are more likely to think of weekends as a time for enjoyable and interesting activities.
- Teenagers who have other interests may be less likely to take up drugs (although some sports encourage it, eg drinking after matches). Support their sport, take an interest in their hobbies and help them get to the different activity groups that they’re interested in.
- If teenagers are involved in more than one group of young people they have more resources to fall back on if one of the groups is using drugs. Support their friendships with different groups. Make their friends welcome.
- Support your children's self-esteem. Tell them and show them you care about and value them. Let them see that you notice the good things they do.
Keep the communication open and honest - be approachable.
- Listen to your teenager's ideas and opinions, even if you don't agree with them. Try not to interrupt or react in a way that stops discussion. This way they won’t be frightened to tell you things you may not want, but need to hear.
- Don't pretend to know everything. If you don't know, say so and that you will try to find out.
Make sure that you have safe arrangements for teenagers getting home.
- Have an emergency plan for a situation if they lose money, drink too much or get into a difficult situation. For example a pre-paid mobile phone to call you, permission to take a taxi and you will pay, etc. (if it happens often, think about what else might be happening for your teenager).
- Give rewards for responsible behaviour, eg. allow them to stay out a bit later or have an extra night out.
- As teenagers get older they will be making their own choices about friends, groups and activities. Your support in making their friends welcome, being interested in their interests and helping them get to activities, will still be very important to them.
Don't be afraid to ask for help. You don't need to handle this alone.
- If young people are not going to school, if they are bored, unemployed and without hobbies and interests, they are more vulnerable to drug use.
Peer group issues
- Peer group pressure is often overstated and most young people make a decision to take drugs without being forced or tricked. In fact they may choose their peer group because of what the group is doing in a number of areas, including drugs.
- Young people need to see good reasons to change their peer group. The best you can do may be to encourage them not to entirely lose touch with old friends so that they have other friends to fall back on. Keeping a leg in with another peer group which doesn't use drugs is an important way to help keep drug use at bay.
- If you feel your teenager is heavily involved in drugs and you are powerless to change the situation, it is important to talk to someone skilled in the area.
Note: Sometimes young people who have a mental illness use drugs to help cope with their distress. If you have other concerns about your child it is important to get help.
Reminders
- Parents who communicate, listen well, are approachable and who give choices (not orders) do well.
- Make sure that you know what you are talking about when you talk with your teenager about drugs and choose a good time.
- Being angry, judging and criticising doesn't work - they only make things worse.
- Be willing to talk honestly about the drugs you use (alcohol, medicines, etc.)
- Don't over-react to situations, you might jump to the wrong conclusion.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don't need to handle a drug problem on your own.
Resources
South Australia
- Parent Helpline
1300 364 100 (24 hrs, 7 days a week)
- Youth Healthline
1300 13 17 19 (24 hrs, 7 days a week)
- Drug Diversion Initiative
(08) 8204 2995 for written information on what happens to people who are apprehended.
- Poisons Information Centre
131 126
- Drug and Alcohol Services South Australia
http://www.dassa.sa.gov.au
- Alcohol and Drug Information Service (ADIS) provides information, publications, counselling and professional assistance in dealing with and understanding alcohol and drug problems - Tel: 1300 13 13 40 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
- Department of Education and Children's Services Drug Strategy.
'Contact' - a strategy to assist South Australian public schools in capacity-building for dealing with drug use education and issues.
http://www.decs.sa.gov.au/drugstrategy/
Australia
Written in partnership
Alcohol and Drug Information Service
Drug and Alcohol Policy Section SA Police
Child and Youth Health - Parenting SA
Related Parent Easy Guide (Parenting SA website - PDF format)
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).
This topic may use 'he' and 'she' in turn - please change to suit your
child's sex.