Habits

habit; habits; cough; coughing; tic; tics; smoking; smoke; cigarette; comforters; dummy; dummies; stress; head; banging; rocking; sleep; breath; holding; nose; picking; teeth; grinding; bruxism; nail; biting; biter; hair; pulling; loss; masturbation; thumb; sucking;

Contents

• What causes habits?
• Comforters
• Head banging and rocking
• Breath holding
• Nose picking
• Teeth grinding
• Nail biting
• Hair pulling
• Cough
• Masturbation
• Tics
• Smoking
• References

From time to time, most children develop habits, which can be annoying, worrying or even embarrassing to parents. Parents may even be afraid that their child will still be doing it when grown up. Habits may have an identifiable cause. Sometimes dealing with the underlying reason will bring about a change. Sometimes habits are behaviours that started for one reason, but are continuing even though the reason has now gone.

Sometimes the habit is normal for a child of her age, and she will naturally grow out of it.

Making a child worried about a habit by continually trying to change it, may make it last longer.

What causes habits?

Some habits start because they are normal behaviours for young children that help them feel calm.

• For example, sucking is very calming for a baby. When a child is older, sucking can still be calming, so sucking on a dummy or a thumb can help a child feel calmer in new situations.
• However, many children suck a dummy or their thumb when they are tired, unhappy or bored. It is not necessarily stress, but a 'habit'. Older children may suck a pencil, or later, a cigarette. (But remember, sucking a thumb or a pencil does not mean that a person will smoke!)

At times of stress, the habit behaviour may become more obvious.

• A two year old who had almost stopped sucking his dummy during the day may want to suck on it much more when a new baby comes into the family.
• When the child is feeling more confident again, he will usually be able to let go of his dummy.

Not being able to control a habit by an age that most children are able to stop it may be a sign that the child is experiencing more stress than he is able to manage easily. However, many habits continue even when there is no sign of stress (nail biting is an example of a habit that often goes on even when everything else seems to be going well for a child).

Starting a new habit may also be triggered by some stress in the child's life. However, it is very important to remember that many things that cause some stress are not changeable, and the habit may be a way that can help the child to cope until he is a little more confident.

Note: Sometimes rewards can encourage a child who is trying to overcome a habit, but punishment does not work because it makes the child more worried and more likely to need the comfort of the habit.

Comforters

• Young children may suck on a dummy or thumb, or want to hold a special piece of blanket or a toy when they need comfort, eg. at bedtime, or in new situations (sometimes this is a lot of the time when they are about 1-2 years of age). Having a comforter is one of the ways they use to stay calm while learning how to manage without a parent always being there to look after them.
• Often children stop needing their comforters during the daytime by about four years of age, when they feel more secure in the world. They may still want a special toy or blanket to hold when going to sleep.
• It is not helpful to take away children's comforters while they still need them (especially when they are one or two years old) because it can make them more anxious and upset.
• See the topic Comforters for more information.

Head banging and rocking

Rhythmic movements such as head banging (on the side of a cot or bed), rocking, or rolling from side to side for a while before going to sleep (at night and during the day) are very common behaviours that seem to be calming to many young children from about 9 months to about 4 years of age - even though it seems that hitting your head would hurt. Often older babies will also make some rhythmic noise such as humming or chanting.

The child’s development is almost always normal, but if rocking or head banging happens often during the daytime too, there may be some developmental problem. Sometimes head banging or rocking may start due to an ear infection, but usually the child is well. A child who is head banging or rocking more than usual may be stressed, so it is worth considering what could be causing the stress.

Usually children don't harm themselves with head banging (other than a few bruises) but if head banging or rocking happen so much that they interfere with your child's play or going to sleep, it needs to be treated seriously. Have a check with your doctor.

What you can do for head banging

• If your child is head banging or rocking for only a short time before going to sleep, and the behaviours are not happening during the rest of the day, there is no need to do anything differently.
• If it happens often, lasts longer, or has started suddenly, have a check with your doctor to make sure there is no underlying health or developmental problem.
• Even when they bang their heads quite hard, children do not seem to be hurt, or distressed by any pain. Padding of the bed end is probably not needed. Padding or bumpers in cots are usually not recommended for babies because of the small risk of a baby getting trapped so that he cannot breathe (see the topic Safe sleep).
• Reducing the noise by moving the cot away from the wall or tightening screws, etc. has sometimes been recommended.
• Scolding and punishment never help.
• It is not clear whether going to your child, picking him up and comforting him, patting or rubbing his head is of any help, because they ‘reward’ the behaviour - but they also distract the child, and may help him to go to sleep without the need to rock or head-bang.
• Try some different, soothing routines before bedtime, and do not put your child down to sleep until he is really ready to sleep.

Remember, head banging and rocking will usually stop without any change in the way you put your child down to sleep.

Breath holding

Breath holding is common. There are two types, one where the child stops breathing and goes blue (cyanotic), and the other, less common, where the child goes pale (pallid). Breath holding is rare before 6 months of age, happens more often up to about 2 years of age, then is usually gone by the age of 5 years.

Breath holding is not caused by any health problems, and does not cause any health problems.

Cyanotic breath holding happens when a child is angry or frustrated.

• She will usually give a short cry, breathe out, stop breathing, become blue very quickly, unconscious and floppy. She may have a few muscle twitches (similar to a fit).
• Within a minute or so she will start breathing again and recover fully.
• Although it is scary to watch, no treatment is needed (you do not need to do mouth to mouth resuscitation or splash her with water).
• Make sure that onlookers know what is happening, and that she will be alright.
• You should check with your doctor to make sure this is only a breath holding spell.
• When she has recovered, do not give her extra attention, as this 'rewards' a breath holding spell. But also, do not punish her - she is not old enough to understand what is happening.
• Remember that breath holding is scary for you, but it will not hurt your child, and it is important not to always 'give in' to a child to avoid it happening.

Pallid breath holding usually happens when a child is hurt or startled.

• Usually she will stop breathing, become pale, floppy and unconscious. She may have a few muscle twitches.
• Again, she will quickly recover without treatment.

Nose picking

Nose picking is something that most children do (and adults too!) and something that parents often find difficult and frustrating to deal with.

• Children usually pick their nose to remove dried mucus that is irritating them, or because their nose is itchy.
• There are no health problems from nose picking, except occasional nose bleeds or sometimes spread of germs from the nose to other parts of the body (such as with school sores [impetigo]).
• Most children stop doing it, at least in public, as they grow older and learn that it is not something that is approved of. Sometimes it may continue, either because of continued irritation or because of other stresses in a child's life.

What you can do about nose picking

• Continually focusing on it or getting cross with your child is likely to make him anxious and make it worse.
• Gentle reminders should help your child to remember gradually that it is not OK to do in public.
• Teach your child how to use a tissue to clean his nose, and make sure there is always a tissue handy.
• Using petroleum jelly to soften the mucus can help if your child's nose is uncomfortable.
• Parents can feel embarrassed if their children do this in public. A quick request for the child to hold something for you can sometimes avoid this, or, if the child is older, a secret signal between the two of you to remind him that he is doing it.

Teeth grinding

Almost everyone grinds their teeth or clenches their jaw at night at some time, and a few have problems such as:

• damage to teeth surfaces, causing sensitive teeth
• tight muscles causing headaches.

About 50% of babies grind their teeth when they are teething. This will probably stop happening before the child is 2 years old. It can happen more often when children and adults are stressed.

What you can do about teeth grinding

• Because this happens during sleep, the behaviour cannot be changed by rewards or punishments.
• Do not criticise your child or wake her up to stop her doing it. This is likely to make it worse.
• Make sure that bedtime routines are relaxing, so that your child goes to sleep feeling relaxed.
• Think about what is happening in your child's world and try to remove any stresses that could be worrying your child.

And then there is no reason to be concerned about it.

• If it continues or is severe, have a check with your dentist. If the teeth are being damaged or an older child is having headaches, a type of mouth guard may be recommended.

Nail biting

Many children and adults bite their nails. It usually starts in the toddler years and often continues into adolescence and adulthood, with about one in five university students still biting their nails. If it is severe, it can cause bleeding and infection, but generally it does not cause any health problems. Children with flaky nails seem to be more likely to bite them.

What you can do about nail biting

Stopping nail biting can be very hard. Continually reminding and criticising your child is likely to make it worse.

• Sometimes putting mittens on your child at night may help.
• Giving the child something else to do with his hands when relaxing or watching TV may help.
• Give your child encouragement and praise for small successes.
• Giving special nail care for older children, eg. manicures and nail varnish, may sometimes help.
• Some people find bitter paint on nails helps, but this can be very unpleasant for a child, and often does not work.
• Try to remove any stresses that could be worrying your child, if this is possible.
• Try to help your child not to feel ashamed if he has times when he forgets and bites.

Hair pulling

Some children pull, twist, stroke or twirl hair when they are tired or need some comfort. They may suck their thumb at the same time. Sometimes with older children it continues and can cause obvious bald spots.

What you can do about hair pulling

• If there is hair loss, have a check with your doctor to make sure it is not being caused by any health problem.
• For children under three or so it is best to ignore it, as they will usually ‘grow out of it’ about the time they give up other comfort activities such as the dummy.
• Drawing attention to it and criticising your child is likely to make it worse. It makes the child worried about it and then she will need the comfort it gives even more.
• Try to remove any stresses that could be worrying your child.
• For older children, special hair care and attention to attractive hair styles may help (short hair is harder to pull out than long hair).
• When you notice it happening, do something else such as gentle scalp massage to help your child to relax.

Cough

• A cough that lasts for many weeks is likely to be due to a physical problem such as asthma, post nasal drip or rhinitis (hay fever).
• Sometimes a cough that starts with a cold or other physical cause can develop into a habit.
• Habit coughs are different from an ordinary cough - such as being a single cough, quieter or louder, or more obvious.
• Have your child checked by a doctor to make sure there is no lingering physical problem.
• Try not to draw attention to the cough, because this is likely to make it worse.
• Look for causes of stress in your child's life and try to deal with these if possible.
• If your child is old enough, encourage her to talk about any worries. Just knowing that someone is listening and understands often helps.

Masturbation

In early childhood, touching the genitals and masturbation is part of learning about the body, and finding out what feels good. By early school years children have generally learnt that it is something that is done in private. For more information, see the topic Children's sexual behaviour.

Tics

Tics are muscle spasms that cause jerky movements that seem out of the child's control, such as blinking, twitching of the face or jerky movements of the arm or shoulder.

• The movement may start because of discomfort, eg. blinking a lot may be caused by eyesight problems, and nose twitching may be caused by an allergy.
• The child can usually stop the tic for a short time if asked, but it sometimes comes back when he is not concentrating on stopping it.
• Sometimes tics are caused by health problems such as Tourette Syndrome (see 'Tourette syndrome').
• Tics may be triggered by stress in the child's life, eg. learning difficulties, family problems.
• Tics can be very distressing to the child, and some children with tics are made more unhappy by being teased.
• If there is no underlying health problem, it is important to try to deal with any stress in the child's life. Relaxation exercises may help.
• If the tic does not go away after a few weeks and especially if it is very distressing for the child, you can seek help from a health counsellor.

Smoking

Older children and young people often start smoking to impress their friends or just to try and see what it is like. It is more likely to happen if there are smokers in the family. Sometimes they stop smoking after one or two tries, but it can become a habit that is hard to break, because the body becomes addicted to some of the chemicals in the cigarette smoke (especially nicotine).

What parents can do

• What you do yourself is important. Set a good example - don’t smoke yourself, or if you do smoke make a determined effort to stop. You might let your children know that you wish you did not smoke.
• Make house rules, eg. no smoking inside the house or in the car.
• Explain to your children about the health risks of smoking, but don't 'harp' on it too much. A strong stand against something often makes teenagers become more determined to try something.
• Support your child in this period of his life - adolescence can be a very stressful time.
• Many people who try to stop smoking have to try several times before they are able to really give it up. Give your child encouragement for trying, not criticism for failing.

Resources in South Australia

If your child has begun to smoke and would like to stop, there are programs in South Australia such as:

• Quitline - telephone 13 1848
  - self-help materials, brochures about the effects of smoking and passive smoking and telephone counselling:
  http://www.quitsa.org.au/aspx/index.aspx
• Community Health Centres. Some run Quit Smoking Courses. Check in the White Pages under Community Health Centres.

References

Mindell JA and Owens JA. 'A clinical guide to pediatric sleep'. Lippincott Williams and Wilkins, 2003.

Written in partnership
Child and Youth Health - Parenting SA
Related Parent Easy Guide (Parenting SA website - PDF format)

The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).

This topic may use 'he' and 'she' in turn - please change to suit your
child's sex.