Starting school
school; preschool; kindergarten; junior; primary; kinder; reception; starting;
Contents
School can be a strange and scary place for beginners. Young children often have to cope with bigger buildings, lots more children who are older and bigger and less adults for support. There are different rules to get used to and many new things that they are expected to do. The playtime breaks can be very frightening for beginners.
School days can be very tiring too, for children who are used to a rest during the day. Children may have been looking forward to school a lot and feel very let down if they don't enjoy it as much as they hoped. Even for those who do enjoy it, starting school is stressful. Children need lots of support from you before starting school and in the first few weeks.
Is your child ready for school?
Not all children are ready to begin school at the age of five and they do not have to start school in South Australia until they are six. Some children benefit greatly from extra maturity and it can help them if they start a bit later. Think about this if your child is smaller or younger than the other children or is not yet really comfortable playing with groups of children or confident without adult support. Talk it over with the kindergarten or preschool teacher if he has one.
Preparing for school
It will help if you prepare your child as well as you can, and show that you believe she will manage the new challenges. Some things you can do are:
- Allow your child to take part in any transition to school activities organised by your kindergarten or child care centre. These may include visits to the school. Kindergarten and child care centre staff are also a good place to start if you have any questions about your child starting school.
- Show your child where the school is in relation to home. Walk there a few times if possible, even if you intend to drive to school.
- Show your child where you will pick her up at the end of the day.
- If your school is open to the public after hours, take your child for a walk around the school or play on the equipment while there is no one there. Check with the school first.
- Make sure she has clothes she can manage; that she can unwrap her lunch and that she knows how to ask to go to the toilet.
- Read a story about a child starting school, or talk about when you started school (as long as it's a happy story).
- Make enquiries with the kindergarten, child care centre or school and if possible invite another child who will be starting at the same time, and her parent, over before school starts.
- Plan to take your child to school on the first day.
If your child is worried about starting school, ask her what would help, e.g. who should take her to school, where she wants to say goodbye, what she wants to do after school. Having some control over what happens, helps with fears. You might tell her what you will be doing while she is at school.
Once at school
- Don't be late picking your child up. A few minutes can seem a long time to a young child, especially if he is not feeling sure of himself.
- Some children want to tell you all about their day as soon as you pick them up so, make time for your child after school if he needs it, or as soon as you get home if you work. Some children, however, like time by themselves before they want company.
- Children are often 'starving' after school. A healthy snack straight after can make up for a missed lunch. This will be as important as eating a big dinner. If you are picking your children up in a car after school, take something (a piece of fruit) with you ready for them to eat in the car. In the first few weeks they might be too tired to really want to eat by dinnertime.
- Listen, but don't ask too many questions. Children will talk when they are ready. Bedtime is usually a good time to listen. Use prompts to help you understand their day eg 'What did you learn today?' 'Who did you play with?'
- It helps if you read stories to children even after they can read themselves. Bedtime is also a good time to read stories.
- Some children wet their pants in the early months at school. This can be very embarrassing for them. They need to be reassured that it often happens to children and it is nothing to worry about. Encourage your child to tell the teacher. Pack an extra pair of pants if it happens. If you show you are worried, it will make him feel that there really is something to worry about.
- New learning takes a long time and children learn at different rates. Don't expect too much. You can help best by encouraging, taking an interest and showing you care.
- Be flexible in the early days of school. Children may be tired and grumpy for a while until they settle in.
- Keep to routines that allow time for rest and free play. Don't plan too many after school activities or have too many things to do on the way home, eg shopping.
- Invite your child's friends over. One at a time at first.
- Talk to other parents and share your experiences, ideas and feelings.
- If your child is really upset, if you are worried, or if there is bullying or teasing going on, talk to the teacher about it.
- Children need lots of support in starting school.
Starting school can be stressful
Some children, when they first start school, find it so stressful that they don't want to go. They may get tummy aches or be very tearful in the mornings. If this happens to your child listen to his fears. Try not to let him see that you are worried.
Let him know that you believe that he can manage to go to school and you will help him. Ask him what he thinks would help, eg sometimes going with another parent instead of you is a help. For another child having something small of yours to mind while he is at school will help. If the worries don't get better soon, talk to the teacher about the best way to help your child. Forcing children usually does more harm than good.
Reminders
- Starting school is a big step for children and it takes time to get used to.
- Children do best at school when their parents and teachers work together to support them.
- Let the teacher know if anything is happening in your family that might continue to upset your child at school.
- Tell the teacher when you are pleased with what is happening at school and when you are concerned.
Resources in South Australia
- Parent Helpline
Tel 1300 364 100
24 hours a day, 7 days a week for advice on child health and parenting
- Child and Family Health Centres
Tel 1300 733 606 9am – 4:30pm, Monday to Friday to make an appointment at your local Centre
- Department of Education and Children's Services
Tel 08 8226 1527, freecall 1800 088 158
- There are many books for young about starting school. Have a talk to the librarian at your local library for some help with this or the teacher at kindergarten or child care.
Websites
For other Parent Easy Guides including: Bullying, Optimism, Self Esteem, Coping Skills (resilience)
http://www.parenting.sa.gov.au/
Association of Independent Schools South Australia
http://www.ais.sa.edu.au/
Catholic Education South Australia
http://www.adelaide.catholic.org.au/sites/CatholicEducationOfficesSA/
Department of Education and Children's Services South Australia
http://www.decs.sa.gov.au/
Written in partnership
Child and Youth Health - Parenting SA
Related Parent Easy Guide - (Parenting SA web site - PDF format)
The information on this site should not be used as an alternative to professional care. If you have a particular problem, see a doctor, or ring the Parent Helpline on 1300 364 100 (local call cost from anywhere in South Australia).
This topic may use 'he' and 'she' in turn - please change to suit your
child's sex.